IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Wild animal have no place in 21 century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
It is often claimed that wild
animals
Use synonyms
 have little value in the twenty-first century and that resources devoted to their conservation could be better spent
elsewhere
Linking Words
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective because preserving
wildlife
Use synonyms
 is essential for ecosystem stability and remains highly beneficial to human societies.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
wildlife
Use synonyms
 plays an essential role in maintaining ecological balance. Biodiversity, food chains, and healthy ecosystems cannot be sustained solely through human intervention. Throughout evolution, different species have developed complex interdependent relationships, meaning that the disappearance of one species can have serious consequences for many others.
For example
Linking Words
, the loss of predators may lead to an uncontrolled increase in prey populations, which can ultimately disrupt entire ecosystems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, conserving wild
animals
Use synonyms
 is crucial for preserving environmental stability.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, conserving wild
animals
Use synonyms
 brings substantial economic and scientific benefits to society. Countries with rich biodiversity often attract millions of tourists annually, generating significant revenue and creating employment opportunities for local communities.
In addition
Linking Words
, numerous medical breakthroughs have resulted from the study of plants and
animals
Use synonyms
, highlighting the scientific value of preserving
wildlife
Use synonyms
. Healthy ecosystems
also
Linking Words
 support agriculture through essential processes
such
Linking Words
 as pollination and natural pest control.
Consequently
Linking Words
, allocating resources to
wildlife
Use synonyms
 protection can generate long-term benefits that far outweigh the initial costs. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the view that protecting wild
animals
Use synonyms
 is a waste of resources.
Wildlife
Use synonyms
 is essential for maintaining ecological balance,
while
Linking Words
 its conservation
also
Linking Words
 provides considerable economic and scientific benefits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, preserving wild
animals
Use synonyms
 should remain a priority in the twenty-first century.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, add one more direct idea about why some people think money should go to people, then show why you still disagree. This can make your answer feel more full.
task response
For task response, use one very clear real example, like one animal, one place, or one case. This can make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas are easy to follow, but you can make links even smoother by adding a few simple words like 'also', 'as a result', or 'for this reason'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each main paragraph has one clear focus, which is good. To make support even better, you can explain one point a little more before moving to the next idea.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and give a strong opinion from the start to the end.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and well developed, especially on nature balance and human benefit.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear shape: intro, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph stays on one main idea, so the essay is easy to read.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: