IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people accuse that technology making our lives more hectic. Therefore we should make it easier by not using any technology. Do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Nowadays, as technologies are getting
adapted
Verb problem
adopted
show examples
 quickly day by day, it already
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 part of our daily life.
For instance
Linking Words
, we
use
Use synonyms
dishwasher
Correct article usage
a dishwasher
show examples
,
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
 machine,
vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
show examples
, microwave in our household to save
time
Use synonyms
 and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy.
However
Linking Words
, it does have disadvantages for
people
Use synonyms
 who especially uses gadjets too often. I will talk about them in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Lately, using gadjets became
people
Use synonyms
's daily task. They chat with their friends, relatives, classmates, coworkers
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 two times a day. That indeed saves
time
Use synonyms
 to talk with them online rather than planning and scheduling our
time
Use synonyms
 to meet up. Being that, there are
also
Linking Words
 some Social Media apps which wastes
time
Use synonyms
 than saving it. These apps
built
Verb problem
are built
show examples
 for getting attention, making
obsessed
Check wording
people obsessed
show examples
 over it. Those who
got
Verb problem
are
show examples
 obsessed
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 it
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more likely to fail whatever they are doing. It
either
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
may be work or
studies
Punctuation problem
studies,
show examples
 it does not matter. Why
Linking Words
this
Verb problem
does this
show examples
happens
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
? Because, if we get distracted
while
Linking Words
 doing something, it may feel like we are busier than we
in reality
Rephrase
really
show examples
 are
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. And we might mess up in what we are doing. We should learn to take control of
our selves
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 to
use
Use synonyms
 technologies in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
benefits us.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when we are late to some kind of gathering, we can
apologize
Change the spelling
apologise
show examples
 before they get upset. And when we get lost in
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 unfamiliar location, by using our
phones
Check wording
phones'
show examples
 GPS
function
Punctuation problem
function,
show examples
 we can figure
the
Verb problem
out the
show examples
 way out easily. One of the good
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of technology is
there
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 we can shop online or look at the prices of products without leaving our apartment. And it may be
advantegeous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 for elders who live alone. Though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are criminals who
scams
Correct subject-verb agreement
scam
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 online. Most of the
time
Use synonyms
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 will be older
people
Use synonyms
 who still have not adapted to using
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is not a problem of internet, it is because they are
simpleminded
Correct your spelling
simple-minded
. Still, the neighbours can help them
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 how some function works to avoid
thee
Use the right word
these
show examples
 situations. I think we should learn how to
use
Use synonyms
 technologies in a profitable way. We ought to limit ourselves
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 how long
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
we
use
Use synonyms
 it for, other than
discriminating
Verb problem
incorporating
show examples
 it
from
Change preposition
into
show examples
 our lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main opinion very clear in the first paragraph and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph so the essay is easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like first, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some parts are not easy to follow. Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You give both good and bad sides of technology.
task response
You use real life examples like GPS, online shopping, and social media.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a clear general direction from problem to solution.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • streamlined processes
  • constant connectivity
  • learning and adaptation
  • enhance convenience
  • accessible services
  • remote work
  • flexible schedules
  • work-life balance
  • evolving nature
  • 'always on' culture
What to do next:
Look at other essays: