IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Government should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that we shall take responsibility to keep our apartment and the
surrounding
Check wording
surroundings
show examples
 around our
place
Use synonyms
 and our own living environment clean and tidy. To
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
extend
Use the right word
extent
show examples
 I agree to
this
Linking Words
 statement. As a civilization well educated citizen, everyone shall clean up their own rubbish and litter when they
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
 eating or domestic waste. It is not difficult for each person to put their own personal waste into a rubbish bin or gather
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
 a large bag and
place
Use synonyms
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
 the
re-cycling
Correct your spelling
recycling
 centre, if
such
Linking Words
 waste can be reused again. To save the planet, everyone shall have the self-discipline to keep their own
place
Use synonyms
 clean and
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
 necessary steps
not
Verb problem
to prevent
show examples
 the
exhaust
Check wording
emission of
show examples
 smoke and pollution to the public.
However
Linking Words
, the government
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible to set up sufficient rubbish collection
station
Check wording
stations
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 introduction education programme to all schools. Start teaching
toddler
Check wording
toddlers
show examples
 not to litter in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
area
Check wording
areas
show examples
 and try to keep themselves clean and keep their own desk and
place
Use synonyms
 clean when they are young, so that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 all
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good habits to keep their community a better
place
Use synonyms
 to live in. The government shall set out rules and laws to punish anyone who
littering
Wrong verb form
litters
show examples
 on the street. In conclusion, not only
the government is
Correct word order
is the government
show examples
 the sole owner of
the environment
Replace the word
environmental
 cleanliness, everyone living on the planet
shall
Verb problem
should
show examples
 maintain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good habits to
reserve
Verb problem
preserve
show examples
 their own
place
Use synonyms
 to be well kept with
freshness
Replace the word
fresh
 air to
be breath
Replace the word
breathe
.

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task response
State your view more clearly at the start and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Answer the full question more directly by saying how much you agree, not only that both sides have a role.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas, such as fines for littering or home waste sorting.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both people and government.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some main ideas are easy to see, like personal duty and government action.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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