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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate about whether the use of
technology
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 in
education
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 has had a positive or negative impact on
people
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's lives. Some individuals argue that learning through
technology
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 makes
people
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 lazier and more dependent,
while
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 others believe it has significantly improved their ability to learn. I firmly agree with the latter perspective and think
technology
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 should be integrated into daily
education
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 because it simplifies life in various ways. On one hand, critics of
technology
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 in
education
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 point to its negative consequences. One major drawback is that it can lead to laziness in completing tasks.
For instance
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, when students rely heavily on websites for homework answers, they avoid challenging their minds to solve problems independently.
As a result
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, they develop a habit of dependency on their devices and struggle to think critically without them.
On the other hand
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, many individuals believe that
technology
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 has positively transformed the learning experience. One key advantage is the accessibility of knowledge through smartphones.
For example
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,
people
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 can read books on their phones
while
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 they are in a shopping
center
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centre
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, eliminating the need for heavy and impractical physical copies.
Additionally
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,
technology
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 facilitates
better
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a better
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 understanding of information; students can learn difficult subjects through videos and study guides available on various websites. For younger learners, educational videos can teach them the alphabet in an engaging way.
This
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 highlights the importance of using
technology
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 in
education
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 - it provides access to knowledge
that is
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 readily available and easily comprehended. In conclusion,
while
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 some individuals believe that
technology
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 makes
people
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 inactive and dependent, others view it as a tool that positively influences the speed and ease with which knowledge can be acquired and understood.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. The good side is stronger than the bad side.
task response
Add one more clear idea for the bad side, with a short example.
task response
Your opinion is clear, which is good. Keep this clear position from start to end.
task response
Some examples are a bit general. Use more specific and direct examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. You already use 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' well.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could connect more smoothly. Add short links between sentences.
coherence and cohesion
One body paragraph has more support than the other. Try to balance both parts.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion clearly.
task response
The main ideas are easy to follow.
task response
You use examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized into paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical.
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