Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result on a society of individuals who only think their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matter that affect them. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

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People
belive
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believe
that allowing
childrens
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children
to decide their own choices on matters
such
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as food, clothes,
entertainment
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and entertainment
show examples
,
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apply
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will make them selfish. Other believes that it is essential for children to make their own decisions for their own good.
This
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essay will discuss both
viewpoins
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viewpoints
and
give
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apply
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provide my perspective.
To begin
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with, every single person
have
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has
show examples
their own opinions.
some
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Some
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people think allowing children to make
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
own
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decision
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decisions
show examples
will change their
behavious
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behaviour
for society.
However
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, it is their
parents
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parents'
show examples
responsibility to look after the
decision
Use synonyms
ande
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and
give them permission
accordingly
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.
Furthermore
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, young kids do not have
enougf
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enough
knowledge to make
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decision
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decisions
show examples
for their own good. So allowing kids to make
there owne
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their own
decision
Use synonyms
can be a bad move until they got enougf knowlege of society.
On the other hand
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,
other
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others
show examples
argue that children should decide what is good for them and take their own
desicion
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decision
while
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choosing
favourite
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their favourite
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food.
In addition
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, they choose what to wear in society
and
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, and
show examples
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also they can
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they can also
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watch anything they like. In my opinion, kids are like
empty
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an empty
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pendrive
and
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, and
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they learn what they see. So there must be some restriction on what they see, eat and watch, because parents know better.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Now both sides are there, but the ideas are short.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
Add one simple example for each main idea. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraph order: intro, side 1, side 2, your opinion, end.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, however, also, for example, and in my opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. Some parts now jump too fast.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
There is an introduction and a short ending.
task response
Your main topic stays on children and choice, so the essay is on task.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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