Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result on a society of individuals who only think their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matter that affect them. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

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People

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

that allowing

childrens

Replace the word

children

to decide their own choices on matters

such

Linking Words

as food, clothes,

entertainment

Correct word choice

and entertainment

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

will make them selfish. Other believes that it is essential for children to make their own decisions for their own good.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both

viewpoins

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

and

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

provide my perspective.

To begin

Linking Words

with, every single person

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

their own opinions.

some

Fix capitalization

Some

show examples

people think allowing children to make

there

Use the right word

their

show examples

own

Use synonyms

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

will change their

behavious

Correct your spelling

behaviour

for society.

However

Linking Words

, it is their

parents

Check wording

parents'

show examples

responsibility to look after the

decision

Use synonyms

ande

Correct your spelling

and

give them permission

accordingly

Linking Words

Furthermore

Linking Words

, young kids do not have

enougf

Correct your spelling

enough

knowledge to make

Use synonyms

decision

Check wording

decisions

show examples

for their own good. So allowing kids to make

there owne

Correct your spelling

their own

decision

Use synonyms

can be a bad move until they got enougf knowlege of society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

argue that children should decide what is good for them and take their own

desicion

Correct your spelling

decision

while

Linking Words

choosing

favourite

Correct determiner usage

their favourite

show examples

food.

In addition

Linking Words

, they choose what to wear in society

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

Linking Words

also they can

Correct word order

they can also

show examples

watch anything they like. In my opinion, kids are like

empty

Correct article usage

an empty

show examples

pendrive

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they learn what they see. So there must be some restriction on what they see, eat and watch, because parents know better.

s.sandy.m.sandy.p

Jun 22, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides more fully. Now both sides are there, but the ideas are short.

task response

Give your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same from start to end.

task response

Add one simple example for each main idea. This will make your points stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear paragraph order: intro, side 1, side 2, your opinion, end.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like first, however, also, for example, and in my opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. Some parts now jump too fast.

task response

You answered both views and gave your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

There is an introduction and a short ending.

task response

Your main topic stays on children and choice, so the essay is on task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

198 words

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