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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or oganisation. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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These days, many people prefer to be their own boss
instead
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 of working for someone else. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 type of employment.
Firstly
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, being self-employed offers independence when it comes to working hours, how much
work
Use synonyms
 one wants to do, and what creative decisions
they
Fix the agreement mistake
one
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 may want to make.
For instance
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, I run a tutoring business, and I choose when I want to teach, how many
students
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 I want to take on, and the style of teaching I want to use.
Therefore
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, I am able to
work
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 more when I prefer to and less when I am
more busy
Replace the word
busier
. If I had a boss, I would have to follow the
work
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 and hours they give me, take on
students
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 I may not want to teach, and have to follow a set of rules when it comes to my teaching styles. When you are self-employed, you make the rules and can
cater
Verb problem
tailor
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 them to your preferences.
However
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,
this
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 freedom does not come without its disadvantages. The autonomy of being self-employed can
also
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 be a burden, as you have to be aware of all aspects of your business yourself.
For instance
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, in my company, I am responsible for the marketing, creation of the materials, and teaching the
students
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. Meanwhile, someone working at a larger company
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 would not have to find their
students
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, would be handed the materials, and would just be responsible for teaching.
Thus
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, self-employment can be very tiring and a huge responsibility compared to working at a company. In conclusion, being self-employed allows you to control every aspect of your business.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 can result
to
Change preposition
in
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 a lot more
work
Use synonyms
 than a traditional job, and can prove to be too much at times.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why people choose self-employment, but the bad points are not wide enough.
task response
Use the right focus in the introduction. The task asks for reasons and disadvantages, not advantages and disadvantages.
task response
Add one more clear bad point, such as no fixed pay, stress, or no paid holiday.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each body part has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few long sentences can be cut into shorter parts.
coherence and cohesion
Keep wording exact. For example, 'result to' should be 'result in'. This helps the flow feel more natural.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use a real example about your tutoring work, and this makes your ideas strong.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas stay on topic and are easy to understand.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • entrepreneurship
  • freelancing
  • gig economy
  • flexible schedule
  • job market instability
  • financial independence
  • work-life balance
  • economic downturn
  • irregular income
  • employer-provided benefits
  • job security
  • passion projects
  • accounting
  • marketing
  • isolation
  • legal requirements
  • tax obligations
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