IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers are increasingly used in education. In which areas do you think are computers more important and in which areas are teachers more important?

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There is no denying the fact that travelling is the most entertaining way for a person to be happy and have more knowledge about the cultures of different countries.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that some people prefer to travel with
someone
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 ,others like to travel alone. In my opinion, I consider that travelling with a companion is better than travelling alone.
To begin
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, travelling with
someone
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 is more enjoyable.
In other words
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,we can share memories and take photos together,
such
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 as with mom and sister or friends , which will be better.
In addition
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,there will be
someone
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 to talk to during the trip.
For example
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, trips with friends or a sister were more enjoyable, spending time with
someone
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 like you who understood you and shared the same interests. Another point to consider is safer; it helps when you lose your way or
in
Verb problem
are in
show examples
 a serious situation. It is
also
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 possible to say that we protect our laugged especially in new places.
Moreover
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, sharing trips with
someone
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 is less expensive.
For instance
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, sharing the hotel and transportation costs helps to save money. In conclusion,
although
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 travelling with a companion is more enjoyable
and
Punctuation problem
,
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 it is better than travelling alone because safer and less expensive. Travelling with others leads to protecting yourself in any challenging situation. Travelling alone has advantages that cannot be ignored.
However
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, trying both will benefit and improve and developing the personality effectively.

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task response
Write about the given topic only. Your essay talks about travel, but the topic is about computers and teachers in education.
task response
Answer both parts clearly: say where computers are more important, and where teachers are more important.
task response
Give one or two clear examples for each side, like online research for computers and class talk for teachers.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: intro, one body part for computers, one body part for teachers, then conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, but, so, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow. One paragraph should have one main point.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like for example, in addition, and in conclusion.
task response
You give personal ideas and some examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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