In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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Nowadays buy
home
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is a priority for some
people
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instead
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of renting in certain
countries
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because a house is a status symbol and
home
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loans, and I think
this
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is a
postive
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positive
situation for the
devlopment
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development
of the country.
Firstly
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, one reason why
people
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like to
owned
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own
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a
home
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is because of the status symbol.
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this
Fix capitalization
This
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is because
,
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apply
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nowadays
people
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who buy a
home
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meant
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mean
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that they
made
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have made
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it in life.
For instance
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, buying a house has been seen as the individual is now a successful
person
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because he
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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the capital to buy a
home
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instead
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of renting
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thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
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, the
home
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represent
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represents
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the
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person
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person's
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value in
the
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apply
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society.
Therefore
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, in many
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countries
Add a comma
countries,
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people
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are now buying
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home
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homes
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to show their value.
Secondly
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, buying
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home
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a home
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is now almost the same as renting in some
countries
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due to
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home
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loans . The basic need of a
person
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is a roof
on
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over
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their head,
while
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the introduction of
monthly
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a monthly
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installment
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instalment
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with
low
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a low
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interest rate for buying
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home
Correct article usage
a home
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has made easy for
the
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apply
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people
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.
For example
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, I was living in a
home
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as a paid
tenet
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tenant
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, but my friend told me that if I
that
Verb problem
got
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a
home
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loan for the next 20 years, which is almost the same amount of money as my rent. I can buy my
home
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as the rent is almost
similar
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the same
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.
As a result
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,
for
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this
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reason
people
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are buying
instead
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of renting.
To conclude
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,
the
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apply
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people
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prefer owning a
home
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rather than renting in certain
countries
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, because of the
home
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represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
the status of a
person
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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due to
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home
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loans
Punctuation problem
loans,
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it is easy to buy a house.

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task response
Answer both questions more fully. You explain why people buy homes, but your view on positive or negative is too short. Add one full body part for why it is positive, or why it is negative, with clear reasons.
task response
Make your main ideas clearer. Each body part should start with one simple main point, then explain it, then give an example.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your example about rent and a loan is helpful, but it needs clearer detail and better grammar to be strong.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end, which is good. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word form problems. Use simple links like 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'As a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to another.
task response
You answered the first question with two clear reasons: status and home loans.
task response
You stayed on the topic and did not go off track.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used basic paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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