In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always good to work hard?

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In both education and the workplace, certain

people

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tend to put in more effort than others.

This

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essay will first explain why those who

work

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harder are more likely to achieve

success

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and gain promotions compared to those who do not. It will

then

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argue that constantly working hard is not always advantageous, as it can lead to burnout. One reason

people

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are motivated to

work

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hard is the prospect of future

success

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. When employees receive awards or even simple praise from colleagues or supervisors, they feel that their efforts are acknowledged and valued.

This

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recognition encourages them to stay motivated and continue improving their performance.

In addition

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, opportunities for career advancement push individuals to invest more effort in their

work

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On the other hand

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, if employees feel unappreciated despite their hard

work

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, they may become dissatisfied and begin searching for other job opportunities.

However

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, it is not advisable to

work

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continuously without rest, as

people

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need time to relax and recover. In today’s fast-paced world, achieving

success

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often requires significant effort.

Nevertheless

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, maintaining a proper

work

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-life balance is crucial;

otherwise

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, individuals may become emotionally drained.

For instance

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people

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in high-paying jobs often have to

work

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extremely hard to sustain their positions, leaving little time for their personal lives.

Consequently

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, they may suffer from burnout and eventually choose to leave their jobs. In conclusion, the desire for professional

success

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and career progression can strongly motivate individuals to

work

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hard.

However

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, constantly dedicating oneself to

work

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is neither practical nor beneficial, as it can result in both physical and mental exhaustion.

bolortuyatuul

Jun 23, 2026

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task response

Answer both questions more directly in each body part.

task response

Add one more clear example to support your ideas.

task response

Explain more why hard work is not always good in study too, not only at work.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words carefully so each idea flows step by step.

coherence and cohesion

Make the second paragraph focus only on reasons people work hard.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas are a bit repeated, so try to keep each point new and clear.

task response

You answer both parts of the question.

task response

Your main idea is clear: hard work can bring success but also burnout.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Most sentences connect well and are easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Genetic predisposition
Work ethic
Upbringing
Cultural values
Ambitions
Motivated
Fear of failure
Competitive nature
Overworking
Burnout
Stress-related health issues
Productivity
Quality of life
Healthy balance
Long-term productivity

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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always good to work hard?

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others, however, deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion on that issue?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.