Schools should invest more money in technology and buy more computers, instead of spending the money on hiring new teachers. To what extent do you agree?

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Schools need to spend money on teaching with
technology
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by buying computers. Many people don’t agree with
invest
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investing
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money
on
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in
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teachers
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. I partially agree with
this
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.
This
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essay will provide information to support my opinion. On the one hand. I completely agree with teaching by
technology
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.
First,
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technology
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has
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apply
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includes everything that can help the
students
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.
Moreover
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, it has many applications helps
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students
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students'
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education.
Furthermore
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,
technology
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has the ability to make online classes in the
word issue
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world
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.
Second,
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teenagers will love learning because of the
technology
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features.
In addition
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,
technology
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has fun learning skills that
attack
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engage
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the
students
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.
Also
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, it will
allowed
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allow
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them to love learning and gaining more grades.
Third,
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teenagers will have more opportunities.
Moreover
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, they can study multiple different courses
in
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at
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the same time.
Also
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, they may be able to study from different countries at home.
On the other hand
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, I definitely disagree with giving money to
teachers
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instead
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of
technology
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. First of all, many
teachers
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don’t have the right skills to teach.
In addition
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, most
if
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, if
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not all
the
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, the
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teachers
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are less professional and less experienced.
Furthermore
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, they may not have the best knowledge and understanding.
Second,
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they may
explains
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explain
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unclearly.
Furthermore
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, sometimes they forget
an
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apply
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important information.
Also
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,
teachers
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can teach the
students
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with the wrong ideas.
Finally
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, teenagers will be bored
from
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with
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the classes.
Furthermore
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, they will not be attending the classroom because they don’t
enjoying
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enjoy
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it.
In addition
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, they find the class not interesting
,
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apply
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when
their
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there's
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no activity used. In conclusion, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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I think schools must use
technology
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and buy computers.
However
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, schools should reduce
bring
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the number of
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teachers
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.

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task response
Say your main view in a very clear way from the start. You say you partly agree, but most of the essay supports only technology.
task response
Answer both sides in a fair way. Explain why teachers still matter, even if you support more technology.
task response
Add real and clear examples. For example, say how computers help in science, language study, or online homework.
task response
Make each main idea more clear. Some points are too general, like saying technology helps everything.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear paragraph plan: intro, one side, other side, conclusion. You do this, but some parts need smoother links.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words correctly. For example, do not start with 'On the one hand.' alone. Use full pairs like 'On the one hand ... On the other hand ...'
coherence and cohesion
Support each point with a short reason or example. Now many ideas are listed, but not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some lines are hard to follow and this hurts the flow.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear intro, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You stay on the topic of schools, technology, and teachers.
task response
You give more than one reason for your view.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'First', 'Second', and 'Finally'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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