Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
There is a common belief that the loss of particular species
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
plants and
animals
Punctuation problem
animals,
show examples
is a global problem
as a consequence
Linking Words
of environmental issues,
while
Linking Words
others think that there are more important environmental problems.
Although
Linking Words
creatures exitinction is one reason, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
that there are more
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
of envrionmental challenge
such
Linking Words
as climate change, pollution and global warming.  On one hand, loss of
biodevisty
Correct your spelling
biodiversity
is a main issue of environmental
in
Check wording
concern in
show examples
several areas.
This
Linking Words
is because their habitats have
damaged
Verb problem
been damaged
show examples
by certain people.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
many industries take
benefits
Check wording
advantage
show examples
by
ruin
Wrong verb form
destroying
show examples
the forest
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as
cut the
Wrong verb form
cutting down
show examples
trees and
remove the
Wrong verb form
removing
show examples
biodiversity. In Indonesia, more than half rain forest had cleared to plant palm trees
and leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
of some creatures
such
Linking Words
as
Cendrawasih
Correct article usage
the Cendrawasih
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
creatures habitat
Check wording
creatures' habitats
show examples
had
demolished
Verb problem
been demolished
show examples
due to
Linking Words
city development or construction.
As a result
Linking Words
, inhabitat is limited
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
many animals may
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
struggle to stay alive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, environmental problems are more complex because they affect many aspects of life
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as air pollution, climate change, and global warming. These environmental issue are not only affect
biodevisty
Correct your spelling
biodiversity
but
also
Linking Words
threaten human health. Most activities from industries, transportation, buildings and households produce
emission
Check wording
emissions
show examples
or waste and lead to poor quality air pollution, environmental damage, and global warming.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
should provide solutions to solve these issues
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as waste management or implement eletric vehicle for public transportation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, encourage all parties to maintain sustainability
or energy
Correct word choice
and
show examples
renewable
must
Check wording
energy must
show examples
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
continue to
minimize
Change the spelling
minimise
show examples
the issues in the future. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
biodiversity losses
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
one impact of environmental damage, climate change and global warming
also
Linking Words
contribute to harmful
ecosystem
Check wording
ecosystems
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
of some industries and human mobility.
Reduce
Wrong verb form
Reducing
show examples
the impact in the future should be a main priority so that people can live comfortably.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more evenly. You talk more about climate change, so add a little more about why species loss is seen as the main problem.
task response
Give your opinion in a very clear way in the introduction and keep the same view in the conclusion.
task response
Explain ideas more. Some points are good, but a few need one more sentence to show how and why.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, as a result, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each example directly supports the main point of the paragraph.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
task response
You include a real example about rain forest loss in Indonesia.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: