IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In contemperory era, fame has taken another approach in
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
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 recognition
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 it
initially
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depend
Wrong verb form
depended
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 on
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
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,s
Punctuation problem
,'s
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 achievement, eventually it
become
Verb problem
has become
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 more focused on the personal,s net wealth, who advertising for unrealistic lifestyle. I believe
this
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 derivation has a negative impact on
teenage
Replace the word
teenagers
 as it f not only in way
to
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 assess and appreciate things but
also
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 drawback in mental health as
result
Correct article usage
a result
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 of not enough. The
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
 technologies bring benefits for talented people
allowing
Punctuation problem
, allowing
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 them to share their breathtaking works
ultimately
Punctuation problem
, ultimately
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 enable the equals distribution
for
Change preposition
of
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 opportunities (proper training and
assist
Replace the word
assistance
) and connection expert
world-wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
 feedback.. give a hope and many
to
Check wording
opportunities to
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 increase income from their ..
for example
Linking Words
,
This
Linking Words
 has changed
compeletly
Correct your spelling
completely
 when online advertisment introduced to the media. based on .. represent a raw model to encourage others, ..
while
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 the real truth
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 hidden.
the
Capitalize the word
The
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 issue is deeper
embrace
Punctuation problem
, embrace
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pretend
Verb problem
apply
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more
the
Correct article usage
apply
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than hard
working
Replace the word
work
 and

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this clear in all parts.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it with a simple reason.
task response
Use one real and clear example. For example, talk about how teens copy rich stars on social media.
coherence and cohesion
Write in a clearer order: introduction, body 1, body 2, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Finish your ideas. Some lines stop too early, so the reader cannot follow your meaning.
task response
You give a clear topic: fame, wealth, and the bad effect on teens.
task response
You try to show your opinion, which is important for this essay type.
coherence and cohesion
You have the start of an introduction and some body ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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