As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often
argure
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argued
that numerous people
getting
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are getting
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depend
Replace the word
dependent
on technologies, which result to weaken their thinking abilities. I agree
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this
Change preposition
with this
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view and believe that too much use of digital tools may allow many students
worse
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to have worse
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results.
To begin
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with,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
is true that modern advantages
such
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as smartphones,
searching
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search
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engines, and
Ai
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AI
show examples
models help diverse problems of
indibiduals
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individuals
.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most people in modern times have no reluctance
with
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in
show examples
searching
data
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for data
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to solve their school
assinments
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assignments
, design ideas, and even their relationships.
As a result
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, they might
be loose their
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lose
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not only
thinking
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their thinking
show examples
power but
also
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creativities when they have personal issues.
Therfore
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Therefore
,
this
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shows that overuse of digital tools
make them get in
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can lead to
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trouble when they can not use
tools
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them
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.
In addition
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, another reason that I support
this
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view is that decreasing of educational aspire to student.
That is
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to say that
,
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apply
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a lot of
student more and more rely
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students rely more and more
show examples
on technical assistance so that could searching any questuions what they have. And
also
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sdolescents
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adolescents
are easily addicted to social
newtworking
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networking
service
due to
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aspiring
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the aspiration
of
engaged
Replace the word
engaging
in
phsyological relationshihp
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psychological relationships
.
For example
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,
a
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apply
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research finds that the
more adolescents are young
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younger adolescents are
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, the more easily addicted to SNS.
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This matter
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These matters
show examples
are too severe so that parents and even
a
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the
show examples
government should regulate to restrict
them to
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their
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use
it less
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apply
show examples
.
To sum up
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, I agree that many people rely on digital appliances
times
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as time
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goes on
and
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, and
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this
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is
significant
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a significant
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matter.
Beacause
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Because
,
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apply
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too much depend of modern beneficials weaken public critical thinking ability and
lacking
Wrong verb form
lacks
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students
Check wording
students'
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curiosity
due to
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disscussed above.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way.
task achievement
Add one clear example and explain it more.
task achievement
Answer the question more directly from start to end.
task achievement
You give a clear opinion and keep it the same.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Over-reliance
  • Cognitive capabilities
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Diminish
  • Augment
  • Natural sense of direction
  • Access to information
  • Cognitive development
  • Education reforms
  • Technological advancement
  • Nuanced position
  • Recapitulate
  • Affirm
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