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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every year large number of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

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Introduction
Every year
large
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, large
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 numbers of people migrate from one
country
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 to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
migration
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 for the individual and for
society
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 as a whole.
Body paragraph 1
In the modern world, numerous people have their distinct reasons for migrating from their own
country
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 to another one. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate on the benefits and drawbacks of
migration
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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both citizens and
society
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, there are a number of positive impacts on the citizens and
society
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 that have come about because of
migration
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.
Migration
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 has now become a perfect option for learning a new language and culture.
This
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 begins by getting exposed to people who speak the same language all the time,
along with
Linking Words
 celebrating that
country
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’s holidays.
Furthermore
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,
as a result
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 of leaving your motherland for a new
country
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,
It
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it
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 can be convenient for better education and lifestyle.
That is
Linking Words
 because of the economic stability of the new
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country
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country,
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 allied with various language options at schools. Another advantage of
migration
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 can be considered the elevated multiculturalism.
This
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 is attributable to the diversity and the ability to respect other cultures.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that migrating can be risky. If you are not a flexible person, you may meet obstacles in adapting to a new environment, which can mean that you lose motivation to start a new life and begin to miss your hometown, family, and habits. Being unable to participate in your traditional celebrations
have
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has
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 the potential to eventually forget your heritage. Not choosing
right
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the right
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 place to live
,
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apply
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 can conceivably lead to
experience
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experiencing
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 racial discrimination by the locals.
Moreover
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,
society
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 is sometimes influenced adversely
,
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apply
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 by the harmful immigrants, who are capable of damaging urban areas and committing
crime
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crimes
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.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
although
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 there is no doubt that there are some risks associated with settling in a new
country
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, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, particularly with regard to enlarging the worldview.
However
Linking Words
, it should be said that not everyone is a risk-taker
and
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, and
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 some prefer
to not
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not to
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 limit their opportunities to explore the world.

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overall score
Score: 6. This is a clear and complete answer, but some ideas are not fully explained and a few links between ideas are not smooth.
task response
Make the two groups clearer. Say which points affect the person and which points affect the country or local people. For example, better school and work can help the person, while new skills and new food can help the country.
task response
Give one clear real-life example for key points. For example, a person may move for work, send money home, and help both their family and their home country.
task response
Develop the bad side for society more. Crime is mentioned, but it is too broad. Also say that more people can put pressure on homes, schools, or health care.
task response
Your last line does not fit your view well. “Some prefer to not limit their opportunities” sounds like they want to move, not stay. End by clearly saying when moving is good and what help new people may need.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph. In the first main part, you move from language and culture to school and life, then to many cultures. Group these ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links of cause and result. For example: “This helps people learn the language faster.” “As a result, they may find work more easily.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Shorter sentences will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat “migration” too often. You can also use “moving to a new country” or “living abroad.”
task response
You talk about both good and bad sides of moving for people and for the wider group.
task response
Your main view is clear at the end: you feel the good sides are stronger.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “Furthermore”, and “Moreover” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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