successful sports profesionals can earn a great deal more money than people in the other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In the contemporary world, elite sports professionals frequently command astronomical salaries that dwarf the income of individuals in other critical sectors.
While
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a segment of the public argues that
this
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income disparity is inherently unfair, others maintain that these rewards are fully justified by market dynamics. In my opinion,
although
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this
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compensation seems disproportionate to their actual societal contribution, it is an acceptable reflection of commercial value and the transient nature of a sporting career. On the one hand, the primary argument against these exorbitant wages centres on social equity and the undervaluation of indispensable professions. Critics assert that individuals who make profound contributions to the welfare of society—
such
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as medical practitioners, educators, and emergency responders—often receive modest incomes despite years of gruelling training. From an ethical standpoint, it appears unjust that an athlete can earn in a single week what a primary school teacher makes in a year.
This
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gross wage gap can distort public perceptions of success, potentially discouraging the younger generation from pursuing careers that are vital to public infrastructure and community health.
On the other hand
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, I believe these high
revenue
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are justified by economic realities and the unique physical risks athletes face. Professional sports operate within a massive global entertainment market, where elite players possess rare, exceptional talents that attract millions of viewers worldwide.
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, they generate immense commercial revenue through broadcasting rights, ticket sales, and corporate sponsorships, making it logical that they receive a fair share of the wealth they create.
Furthermore
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, sports professionals experience limited career longevity, usually retiring by their mid-30s. Many are even forced to give up their livelihoods prematurely
due to
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chronic injuries that compromise their physical well-being, meaning their short-term earnings must sustain them for the rest of their lives. In conclusion,
while
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the stark contrast between the
salary
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of athletics icons and essential workers raises legitimate ethical questions regarding fairness, the economic reality of the entertainment industry cannot be ignored. In my view, these high salaries are justified because they reflect the immense commercial value athletes generate,
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the inherent risks and short shelf-life of their professional careers.
However
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, governments should still find alternative ways to better recognise and compensate those in vital professions who form the true backbone of our society.

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task response
For task response, your view is clear, but add one more very clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response, be careful with small word choice problems like 'high revenue' because this can make the meaning less exact.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, and each paragraph has one main idea. Keep this clear style.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you can use a few simpler linking words in some places so the flow feels more natural.
task response
You answered both sides of the question and gave your own opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are well organized into separate paragraphs.
task response
You used relevant support like teachers, doctors, and sports career risk.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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