Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many
people
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believe that young
people
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should choose
jobs
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based on their interests,
while
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others argue that they should consider their future when selecting
jobs
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. I agree with the view that young
people
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should take a realistic view of their future before deciding
the
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on the
show examples
jobs
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they want to do. On the one hand, it is understandable that young
people
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should choose the job they want. When one is allowed to work in the field he/she is interested in, they are likely to perform better and produce more high-quality results.
For example
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, a person who is passionate about fashion can be much more productive in designing clothes and accessories rather than having to work in an accounting or financial position.
However
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, I believe that young
people
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should be realistic and consider their future when choosing
jobs
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because some
jobs
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may contain higher risks than benefits. As living is becoming more difficult in
this
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economy, with an increase in bills and product prices, being realistic and choosing a secured
jobs
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with a stable income should be a better decision.
Moreover
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, some
jobs
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require
a
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apply
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substantial work to excel in, which can be exhausting, time-consuming and expensive, leading to loss of motivation and ultimately leading to the loss of the job.
For example
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, in order to become a professional ballerina, one has to start at an early age and spend a lot of time learning. In conclusion,
while
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young
people
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should be free to do the
jobs
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they are interested in, as it allows them to produce better results, I believe that they should be practical during the job selection process because some
jobs
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pose high risks in
this
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economy.

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task response
Answer both sides more evenly. The first side is a bit short.
task response
Add one more clear idea for why young people should follow their interests.
task response
Use examples with a bit more detail to make your points stronger.
task response
Be careful with grammar like 'the jobs' and 'a secured jobs'. These small errors can make ideas less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words well, but do not repeat 'leading to' in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Split them to make the flow easier.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point fully explained before moving to the next one.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your main idea stays on the topic all the way through.
task response
You use relevant examples like fashion and ballet.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'On the one hand', 'However', and 'In conclusion' help the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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