Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illness And diseases and not Enough on health education and prevention.Do agree or disagree?

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The assertion that our governments spend far too many resources on treating illness rather than prevention is one I strongly disagree with.
While
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educating the population about preventative measures is essential, simply
prioritizing
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prioritising
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it over treatment may not yield the results we expect.
Due to
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the importance of furthering scientific research, patient autonomy, and the multifactorial reasons for
disease
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, I believe it is necessary for governments to continue spending money on finding solutions.
To begin
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with, the progression of scientific research
especially
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, especially
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in the field of
healthcare
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healthcare,
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has been hugely beneficial to maintaining public health. Without the countless institutions around the world studying the microbes that infect us, and discovering cures for
such
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pathogens, we would be unable to fight
of
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off
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the several pandemics that have taken over our world throughout history. Most recently, when
covid-19
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COVID-19
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emerged in 2020, forcing the world into lockdown, it was imperative that scientists create vaccines to combat its deadly effects. Regardless of the measures taken by the government to prevent its spread, the dissemination of the
disease
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was unavoidable. Even with it being punishable by law to host events and not wear a mask, there were still
people
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who continued to do so.
In addition
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to
this
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, patient autonomy/rights
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while
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, while
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extremely important, make it so that even with evidence proving the dangers of a
disease
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,
people
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can simply refuse to comply. Circling back to the
covid-19
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COVID-19
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pandemic,
people
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who believed vaccinations cause more harm than good
,
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apply
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could neglect to take them. Unable to force
people
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to get vaccinated against their will, governments can
instead
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spend the resources they have in finding cures to help fight the infections
people
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will inevitably get.
Moreover
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, the prevention of
disease
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is a small part of a much larger problem that needs to first be addressed. In underdeveloped nations
,
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apply
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or countries in ongoing war, teaching the population about risks and how to remain healthy is fruitless without giving them the environment to do so.
For instance
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, in small villages in India,
while
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a child may be taught about the contaminants in the dirty water, he/she will still quench their thirst with said water if it is their only source of hydration. The government should absolutely devote resources
in
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to
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solving those crises, but I believe it would be utopian to believe it is possible to entirely eradicate
such
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problems.
Hence
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, it is necessary to be able to provide
such
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nations with viable treatment options. In conclusion, it is non-negotiable for the government to allocate a certain amount of their finances to the prevention of
disease
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, since it is always better
to
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apply
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not
have
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to have
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to undergo the consequences if you can simply get rid of the problem. Even so,
due to
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the impracticality of expecting a hundred
percent
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per cent
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compliance, making sure to spend money on treatment and research is the only responsible thing to do.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in each body part. This helps the reader follow your point more easily.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts are a bit long and heavy.
task achievement
Your answer is clear, but you should address the other side a little more before rejecting it.
task achievement
Some examples are good, but one or two are too general. Add one more clear real-life example.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main idea, which is good for overall flow.
task achievement
You answer the question clearly and keep the same position through the essay.
task achievement
The Covid-19 example is relevant and helps support your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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