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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Social media is popular and used by many people. However, some people think that social media can be bad for mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the idea. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

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The rapid proliferation of social networking sites has sparked considerable debate regarding their
overall
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 impact on society. I firmly agree with the statement that it affects mental well-being
and
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, and
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 I believe that the drawbacks of these digital platforms significantly outweigh their benefits.
This
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 is primarily
due to
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 the rampant spread of misinformation and the pervasive culture of ostentation, which inevitably fosters unhealthy social comparisons among users. The first major disadvantage is the unchecked dissemination of fabricated information. Social media algorithms are fundamentally designed to
maximize
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maximise
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 user engagement, meaning that
sensationalized
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sensationalised
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 or controversial news often travels much faster than factual reporting.
Consequently
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, users are constantly bombarded with misleading data, ranging from fake political news to unverified health advice. Another major issue is that digital platforms have cultivated a highly toxic environment driven by the relentless pursuit of social validation. The lifestyles shown on these apps are rarely authentic,
where
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as
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 they are carefully filtered and designed to construct an
idealized
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idealised
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 narrative. When people consume
this
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 artificial content, they naturally compare themselves to impossible standards.
For instance
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, big online influencers are likely flexing their luxury lifestyle,
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then
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and
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 their followers are influenced to imitate their life. In conclusion,
while
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 social networks have undeniably connected the world in the present time, their negative impacts are far more prominent. The rapid spread of false information and the mental harm caused by constant social comparison make these platforms more harmful than beneficial. Moving forward, humankind must learn to consume online content critically to protect their psychological wellness.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in each body part.
task achievement
Add one more clear example to support your second main point.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', and 'as a result'.
task achievement
Explain more clearly how false news hurts mental health.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
task achievement
You answer the question and show a clear opinion.
task achievement
Your two main points are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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