Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is an ongoing interest in decision-making in children. Many people argue that granting younger individuals the freedom to make decisions may lead to a population that only considers their personal desires,
whereas
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others believe it is crucial to make choices in areas that directly affect them. In
this
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essay, I will analyse both perspectives and delineate my own opinion, supported with relevant examples. On one hand, one essential reason children should not be allowed to make every decision is that it may encourage selfish behaviour in the long run. By
this
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, I mean when individuals grow with the privilege of having everything as desired, they become accustomed to it. They most often mature believing situations must definitely go their way,
hence
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prioritise their opinions in various areas like partnership, work, family, etc.
This
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personality problem negatively affects their collaboration with other people.
For example
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, research conducted in Abuja, the capital city of Nigeria, had shown that most business owners who faced major financial losses at some point failed to consider fundamental ideas from employees.
Further
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survey confirmed they shared a similar upbringing.
On the other hand
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, it is imperative to proactively make future life choices even at a younger age, especially regarding a
career
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path. It is because a
career
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chosen by oneself without coercion or external influence fosters success.
That is
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, when one decides based on personal interest, more often than not, the individual has the required motivation, resilience, determination and passion to ensure
career
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prospects.  
For instance
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, in 2017, a study was conducted within medical schools across Ukraine. The data obtained corroborates the above-mentioned view. When asked about their motivation, more than three-quarters of the best students confirmed that they were driven by a personal desire to be medical doctors. In conclusion, I believe children ought to make vital decisions about their future independently, whilst
also
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ensuring other areas requiring external opinion are met
accordingly
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.
This
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way, we can effectively avoid breeding adults with a self-centred personality,
while
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preserving their chosen
career
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paths.

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task response
For task response: You discuss both sides and give your opinion, which is good. To get a higher score, make your opinion more clear all through the essay, not only at the end.
task response
For task response: Your ideas are good, but some parts are a bit too general. Add one more clear reason or a more direct link to the question.
task response
For task response: Your examples help, but they feel a little far from everyday choices like food, clothes, and fun. Use examples that match the question more closely.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear shape with introduction, body, and conclusion. This is a strong point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Most ideas connect well, but some sentences are long and hard to follow. Use shorter sentences to make your meaning easier to see.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Some linking words are used well, but a few parts feel heavy. Use simple links like 'also', 'so', 'because', and 'however' in a more natural way.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and include your own view.
task response
You give examples to support both main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized into clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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