IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Some people say that they should work voluntarily whereas others say they should get paid. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Communities
Use synonyms
 developement always requires a cabability of young adult (
their age ranging
Replace the word
aged
 18-25 year old) for solving a problem and improve their society.
Linking Words
while
Capitalize the word
While
show examples
 some individuals argue that
should
Correct pronoun usage
they should
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 voluntarily, others
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 they should
treat
Wrong verb form
be treated
show examples
 as employees and get paid. believe it should be
according to
Linking Words
 situations and
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
 experiences. On the one hand,
communities
Use synonyms
 developement's activities is good start for individuals who
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 any
work
Use synonyms
 experience to build their career. So they must be available but
inclusively
Replace the word
inclusive
 to everyone who has a desire to
work
Use synonyms
 with it, as it
need a
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 ambition and dedication.
For instance
Linking Words
, collaborating to address allows
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 to build experience. Internship
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Doing
Fix capitalization
doing
show examples
such
Linking Words
 serves which is actually improve citizen live
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 deserves to
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 paid or
..
Verb problem
receive
show examples
 financial rewards . Building
a sustain
Replace the word
sustainable
communities
Use synonyms
 is
tough
Correct article usage
a tough
show examples
 job and has various positive impacts that assist in minimize the goverment expenditures in order to solve them.
For example
Linking Words
, In conclusion,
Working
Fix capitalization
working
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
communities
Check wording
community
show examples
 development will enable early career
to
Check wording
professionals to
show examples
 develop new skills
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
 is hard
work
Use synonyms
 it deserve to financal earns or rewards in order to support and motivate them to
continous
Correct your spelling
continue
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say why free work is good and why paid work is good.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way in the intro and keep it the same in the end.
task response
Add one full example for each main part. Your examples are too short or not finished.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each idea easy to follow. Some lines stop too soon, so the reader cannot see the full meaning.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an intro, two main parts, and an end.
task response
You tried to discuss both views, not only one side.
task response
Your main idea is clear: it can depend on the case and the person.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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