IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

There should be laws to control the amount and the type of violence shown on television programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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There is no denying the fact that
violence
Use synonyms
 in television programs should
control it
Wrong verb form
be controlled
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 it is
commanly
Correct your spelling
commonly
 held belief that the end
its
Verb problem
is
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 an art and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 respect for, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that
oppesses
Correct your spelling
oppresses
 it. In my opinion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
control
Replace the word
controlling
 the scenes.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
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 the
violence
Use synonyms
 in television programs,
in other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
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There is
Correct subject-verb agreement
there are
show examples
 children maybe watch the
Use synonyms
violence scene
Replace the word
violent scenes
 and get
effacted
Correct your spelling
affected
, and that's why
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 must
have
Verb problem
be
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 a limit
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
violence
Replace the word
violent
 scenes. Another point to consider, it's an art and art
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
 have a limit, and the parents should take the responsibility of their kids and protect them. In conclusion, despite people having
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 views. I believe that it must be
control
Wrong verb form
controlled
show examples
 and have a limit to protect all of us .

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say clearly why you agree, and add one more main reason.
task response
Use simple clear examples, like how a child may copy what they see on TV.
task response
Make each body paragraph have one main idea and explain it with 2 or 3 more sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way: First, Also, However, Finally.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow because the sentences are not clear. Write shorter sentences.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion.
task response
You wrote both sides of the idea, not only one side.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphing with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion matches your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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