It is important for children to learn the different between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree

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Some people believe that kids should prioritize to learn the
different
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difference
between right and wrong, and
children
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who
have
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exhibit
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wrong behavior allow to be punished. I strongly agree that
punishment
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is an essential tool to shape
children
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’s
habit
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habits
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. In
early
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the early
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year
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years
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of life, toddlers grow up with their
parents
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. They are innocent
and
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, and
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they do not have any idea about
moral
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morals
.
Although
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,
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apply
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parents
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teach proper habits and
belief
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beliefs
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to them, toddlers can not gain and accept all because they think and act as they want and can not deliberate which is correct.
For example
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,
children
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usually cry and
aggressive
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become aggressive
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when they
do
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are
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not
allow
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allowed
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to do
on
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something on
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their way. Some
parents
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select to ignore, and they
use
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this
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method
instruct
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to instruct
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their
children
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indirectly.
Consequently
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, kids learn
themselves
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apply
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how to react for request interesting.
However
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, there have
various
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been various
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punishment
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procedures for preaching
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children
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to children
show examples
.
Therefore
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, adults should know
which
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what
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is suitable for their
children
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and
situation
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the situation
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.
For example
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, kids lie
teachers
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to teachers
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that they already done homework, but they do not complete
.
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it.
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Parents
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may punish
to
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apply
show examples
their mental or physical
.
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health.
show examples
Eventhough
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Even though
,
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apply
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some people do not agree to
use
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violence, others argue
sometimes
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that sometimes
show examples
parents
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can
use
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it. It depends on each family’s culture. In my opinion, the
punishment
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is beneficial to instruct
children
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to learn the correct
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
and
attitude
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attitudes
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.
Nevertheless
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,
parents
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should be careful to
use
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suitable
punishment
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,
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;
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they should avoid violence to
frame
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discipline
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their
children
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.
Children
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who grow
with
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up with
show examples
stricted
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strict
parents
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tend to
easyly frighten
Wrong verb form
be easily frightened
show examples
. In conclusion,
punishment
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is still an essential approach to help family teach their
children
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about the correct
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. Families should
use
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its properly to avoid
violation
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violations
show examples
in their families.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task more clearly. Say why you agree, and also say what kind of punishment is right or not right.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea clear in each body part. One body part should have one main point.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more real. This will help your ideas feel strong.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Use words like first, for example, however, and as a result in the right place.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are short, so the reader can not fully see your meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Check the order of ideas in some sentences. A few parts are hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start: you agree with the idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples about parents, children, and homework to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • positive reinforcement
  • natural consequences
  • constructive punishment
  • punitive measures
  • psychological effects
  • self-esteem
  • aggression
  • anxiety
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • logical consequences
  • discipline
  • affection
  • internalize
  • modeling moral behavior
  • collaborative activities
  • ethical dilemmas
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