Some people think that employers should ensure a pleasant working environment so that workers feel valued and will therefore work hard. Others feel that employers should be stricter with employees and monitor them closely to ensure they work hard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The debate over how employers should manage their workforce revolves around two contrasting approaches: creating a pleasant working
environment
versus strict monitoring and control. Both strategies have their proponents and distinct advantages. Supporters of creating a pleasant working
environment
argue that when
employees
feel valued and comfortable, they are more likely to be motivated and productive. A positive
work
environment
can include factors
such
as respectful treatment, opportunities for growth,
work
-life balance, and a supportive team culture. When these elements are present,
employees
tend to feel more engaged with their
work
, leading to higher levels of job satisfaction and commitment.
For example
, companies like Google and Microsoft are renowned for their employee-centric cultures, which have been shown to enhance
productivity
and innovation.
On the other hand
, proponents of stricter monitoring and control argue that ensuring
productivity
requires clear expectations and oversight. They believe that without strict guidelines and monitoring, some
employees
may not perform at their best or may even engage in
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
that detract from
productivity
.
This
approach often involves using performance metrics, regular performance reviews, and monitoring tools to track employee output and adherence to company policies. In industries where output and efficiency are critical,
such
as manufacturing or customer service,
this
level of oversight can be seen as necessary to maintain high standards and competitiveness.
However
, excessive monitoring can have drawbacks, potentially leading to decreased morale, increased stress among
employees
, and a stifling of creativity and initiative. It may
also
erode trust between employers and
employees
, which is crucial for a healthy
work
environment
. In my opinion, the most effective approach lies in finding a balance between these two extremes. Employers should strive to create a supportive and respectful
work
environment
where
employees
feel valued and motivated.
This
can be achieved through initiatives
such
as professional development opportunities, open communication channels, recognition of achievements, and fostering a culture of trust and autonomy. At the same time, some level of reasonable oversight and accountability is necessary to ensure that
work
goals are met and organizational standards are maintained.
For instance
, companies like Pixar are known for their combination of a creative and supportive
work
environment
with high standards of excellence and accountability in their production processes. In conclusion,
while
both creating a pleasant working
environment
and implementing some level of monitoring have their merits, a balanced approach that values employee well-being
while
maintaining accountability is likely to yield the best results in terms of
productivity
, employee satisfaction, and
overall
organizational success.
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task achievement
To elevate this essay to an even higher band, you could further develop the supporting arguments with more specific examples or case studies. Providing data or quotes from experts in the field could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a seamless flow by linking more of your sentences and paragraphs with cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'consequently.' This will make the transitions between ideas even smoother.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view on the issue, discussing both sides thoroughly before offering a well-reasoned personal opinion. This demonstrates strong analytical skills and the ability to critically evaluate different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, with a strong introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. This helps in maintaining coherence and guiding the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples from well-known companies like Google, Microsoft, and Pixar to support the arguments. This shows an ability to connect theory with real-world applications, enhancing the relevance and impact of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, creating a cohesive narrative that is easy to follow. The use of appropriate linking words and phrases helps in maintaining this cohesion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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