IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is believed that the sole
reason
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 for learning a foreign
language
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 is to
travel
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 to or
work
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 in a foreign country.
However
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, others believe that these are not the only
reasons
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 why
people
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 should learn another
language
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. I hold the view that there are many other
reasons
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 for learning a foreign
language
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, and I will explain why. On the one hand, many
people
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 learn a foreign
language
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 in order to move to another country because of the opportunities it offers. They seek better career prospects, which can lead to valuable
work
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 experience, higher salaries, and a better standard of living.
In addition
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, another common
reason
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 is travelling. Many
people
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 become tired of relying on translation apps on their phones, as
this
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 often interrupts their
travel
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 experience when they simply want to enjoy their trip and immerse themselves in a new culture.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 mainly learn foreign languages for
work
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 or
travel
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.
On the other hand
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, there are many other
reasons
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 why
people
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 choose to learn a foreign
language
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. One of them is education. Every year, the number of students who pursue higher education abroad continues to increase. Better career opportunities after graduation, a more competitive academic environment, and internationally recognised degrees attract thousands of bachelor's, master's, and doctoral students. For many of them, studying abroad is a life-changing experience, so they make every effort to achieve a sufficient level of
language
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 proficiency before beginning their studies. In my opinion, becoming a refugee is another important
reason
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 why
people
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 need to learn a foreign
language
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. Unfortunately, wars continue to affect many countries, forcing
people
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 to leave their homes and seek safety
elsewhere
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. War exhausts
people
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 both physically and mentally
while
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 limiting their future opportunities.
As a result
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, they often have no choice but to flee to another country, where learning the local
language
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 becomes essential for finding a job, communicating with others, and building a new life.
Although
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this
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 is a sad
reason
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 for learning a
language
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, it is an important one.
To conclude
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,
people
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 learn foreign languages for many different
reasons
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, including
work
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,
travel
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, education, and even survival. Regardless of the
reason
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, learning another
language
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 allows
people
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 to improve their lives and gain valuable experiences.

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task response
For task response, make your other side stronger. The first side is clear, but the second side could show more than one main reason in equal depth.
task response
For task response, your opinion is clear, but you can link it more directly to both views in one sentence in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To make it even better, use a few more clear link words between ideas inside body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the refugee idea is interesting, but it feels a bit separate from the education point. A smoother link would help the flow.
task response
Use one more clear example for one main point. This would make your support stronger and more full.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are in a logical order and are easy to understand.
task response
Your main points are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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