IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that wild
animals
Use synonyms
 are no longer relevant in the 21st century and that spending money on their protection is a waste of resources. I strongly disagree with
this
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 view.
Although
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 wildlife conservation does require financial investment, it is necessary for environmental stability and can
also
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 bring long-term economic benefits.
To begin
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 with, wild
animals
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 still play an important role in modern society because they are part of the natural systems on which human life depends. Many species help maintain ecological balance.
For example
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, predators control the population of other
animals
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,
while
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 insects and birds contribute to pollination and seed dispersal. If these species disappear, the damage may not be immediately visible, but it can gradually affect forests, farmland, rivers and even food production. In many cases, wild
animals
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 become endangered not because they are useless, but because human activities
such
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 as pollution, deforestation and urban expansion have destroyed their habitats.
Therefore
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, protecting them is not simply about saving
animals
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; it is
also
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 a way of repairing the environmental damage caused by human development.
In addition
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, wildlife protection should not be seen only as a financial burden. Well-managed nature reserves and national parks can support local economies through eco-tourism. When natural environments are restored, they often attract visitors who are interested in observing
animals
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 and experiencing nature.
This
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 can create jobs in transport, hotels, restaurants and tour services. More importantly,
this
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 form of economic growth depends on protecting nature rather than destroying it, so it can create a healthier relationship between development and the environment. In conclusion, I do not agree that wild
animals
Use synonyms
 have no place in the modern world. Protecting them is not a waste of resources, but a long-term investment in ecological stability and sustainable economic development.

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task response
For task response: your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, add one more direct example from a real place, animal, or case.
task response
For task response: your main ideas are strong, but you can develop them a little more. For example, explain more about how loss of one animal can hurt food or water systems.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has one clear main idea. To improve, use a few more linking words inside body paragraphs to show steps in your logic.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your ending is strong. For an even better score, make one sentence link the second body paragraph back to your main opinion more directly.
task response
For task response: you answer the question fully and clearly say that you strongly disagree.
task response
For task response: your ideas stay on topic and support your opinion well.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the ideas move in a logical order, so the reader can follow your points easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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