Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
It is widely argued that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal instruction at the expense of other developmental activities.
While
Linking Words
I acknowledge that structured learning is fundamental to academic progress, I firmly believe that incorporating play into the primary classroom is equally crucial for the holistic development of young learners. On the one hand, formal learning provides
children
Use synonyms
with essential academic foundations. Structured lessons in literacy, numeracy, and science equip students with the knowledge and discipline required for future educational stages. Without a degree of academic rigour,
children
Use synonyms
may struggle to meet the demands of secondary
education
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, research conducted in several Asian
education
Use synonyms
systems suggests that students who receive
consistent
Punctuation problem
consistent,
show examples
structured instruction from an early age tend to demonstrate stronger performance in standardised assessments.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, play-based activities offer significant cognitive and social benefits that formal learning alone cannot provide. When
children
Use synonyms
engage in creative or collaborative play, they develop critical thinking, communication skills, and emotional intelligence.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, developmental psychologists argue that the brain absorbs and retains information more effectively in relaxed, stimulating environments. A notable example is the Finnish
education
Use synonyms
model, where structured play is integrated into the school day, yet Finnish students consistently achieve among the highest academic results globally. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
formal learning remains an indispensable component of primary
education
Use synonyms
, an exclusive focus on academic instruction risks limiting
children
Use synonyms
's broader development. I would
therefore
Linking Words
argue that a balanced approach, combining structured lessons with purposeful play, represents the most effective strategy for nurturing well-rounded and academically capable individuals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Add one more direct point on why some schools use too much formal learning.
task response
Make your answer to 'to what extent' even more clear in the first part.
task response
Give one more short and real example from class life to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more linking words inside body parts to show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body part a bit fuller with one more step of explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Keep topic words like 'play', 'learn', and 'children' clear across all parts.
task response
You answer both parts of the task clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and easy to follow.
task response
The examples about Asian schools and Finland fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a good end.
coherence and cohesion
Each part stays on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' help the flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: