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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about thr percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

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The line chart illustrates the percentages of people residing in
cities
Use synonyms
 in the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia from 1970 to 2020, with a forecast for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in the populations living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in the four countries.
This
Linking Words
 trend is projected to continue till 2040.
First,
Linking Words
the number of residents in
cities
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia accounted for about a third of the total in 1970. Two decades later, the figure grew
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around 45%. From
this
Linking Words
 point onwards, Malaysian
cities
Use synonyms
 witnessed a significant increase in the number of citizens, reaching around 75% in 2020
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is expected to reach over 80% in 2040.
Similarly
Linking Words
, despite having the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 rate
initially
Linking Words
, the percentages of Indonesians living in urban areas rose consistently over the period, increasing from over 10% in 1970 to around
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half in 2020.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the proportions of people living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in the Philippines experienced fluctuations. Starting with a third in 1970, the number increased, reaching just under a half in 1990, before declining to around 40% three decades later. It is expected that the figure will reach about 50% by 2040. Meanwhile, Thailand's population in
cities
Use synonyms
 grew considerably, starting at below a fifth
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 predictions of reaching about 50% in 2040.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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