IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays more and more people are purchasing online instead of physically going to stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In
comtemporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
, Individuals tend to do shopping online rather than
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 way, as it
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
show examples
 the procedure. I firmly agree
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 a positive trend as it brings
purshasing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
 and reduce time consuming .
Fristly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, Online shopoing reduce the time and
efforts
Check wording
effort
show examples
 consumed to look for
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 item. Those online stores developed apps and websites, which
build
Wrong verb form
are built
show examples
 in
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
 that makes
searching
Correct article usage
the searching
show examples
 procedure easier by using a search bar or applying
filter
Correct article usage
a filter
show examples
 based on brand, materials, or even
color, customer
Punctuation problem
colour. Customers
show examples
 can get immediate results confirming the existance certain products or if it simply
run
Correct subject-verb agreement
runs
show examples
 out
stock
Change preposition
of stock
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the similar products that merged as
alternative
Correct article usage
an alternative
show examples
..
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
flexible time and do anywhere
instead
Linking Words
 of the exhausting old way,
such
Linking Words
 as looking around
mall
Correct article usage
a mall
show examples
 or shop sections in order to purchase
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
This
Fix capitalization
this
show examples
 shopping method may lead to
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of money. Many
consumters
Correct your spelling
consumers
 rely mainly on the images, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not shows exact features of
item
Correct article usage
the item
show examples
 in
real
Correct article usage
the real
show examples
 world,and
neglecting
Wrong verb form
neglect
show examples
 other crucial details.
For instance
Linking Words
,
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to purchase a carpet
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 did the essential specifications research.
As a result
Linking Words
, he/she found the affordable match to his/her wish one.
However
Linking Words
, he/she
forget
Wrong verb form
forgot
show examples
 to check the size, as a photo emerged
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
dimentions
Correct your spelling
dimensions
 differently.
Consequantly
Rephrase
Consequently
show examples
, he will
surprise
Wrong verb form
be surprised
show examples
 by recieving smaller item.
Therefore
Linking Words
, he
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
 money on useless products.
However
Linking Words
, these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of scams can be avoided by carefully reading information that
labelled
Verb problem
is labelled
show examples
 to the items, navigating to
review
Correct article usage
the review
show examples
 section where other purchasers give their honest review combined with zoom-in photos, and surely buying from authorised or
well knowen
Correct your spelling
well-known
 stocks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more fully. Say clearly why this is good overall, not only in parts.
coherence and cohesion
Add a short ending to repeat your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Build each body part around one main idea, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas, such as First, Also, However, and Therefore.
task response
Give examples with clear detail and make sure each one directly supports your main point.
task response
You gave a clear opinion that online shopping is a positive development.
task response
You included both a good side and a possible bad side, which shows balanced thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
task response
You used an example about buying a carpet to support your point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: