IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show household spending patterns in two countries between 1980 and 2008

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The maps provide information about household expenses in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 in the year between 1980 and 2008.Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
, by 1980, in both towns
other
Punctuation problem
, other
show examples
 household expenditures remain constant at 9 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in 2008, in two
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 the proportion of money spent on household expenses rose only to 2 per
cent
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was 11 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the charts, it can be seen that, in 1980, the percentage of money spent on utility bills
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 slightly different in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 depicts 26 per
cent
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
,
in
Correct word choice
while in
show examples
 New
Use synonyms
Zealand
Add a comma
Zealand,
show examples
 it shows 1 per
cent
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 higher
27
Punctuation problem
, 27
show examples
 per
cent
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
, food and drink
plummetted
Verb problem
plummeted
show examples
 sharply from 29 per
cent
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 to 25 per
cent
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the year 2008, food and drink
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the lowest proportion compared with New
Zealand
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 has the highest rank on
this
Linking Words
 chart. Another point is worth considering, in
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
show examples
 leisure in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was twice as high as in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New
Zealand
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,in both states transport rates are respectively similar approximately 14 per
cent
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 in the
UK
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 and 16 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New
Zealand
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, zealand, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spend
  • spending
  • share
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
  • grow
  • drop
  • change
  • pattern
  • trend
  • year
  • country
  • food
  • housing
  • rent
  • health
  • education
  • leisure
  • money
  • income
  • budget
  • more
  • less
  • than
  • across
  • between
  • overall
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