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Band 7.5

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coaching. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#demand #services #age #platforms #option
Conducting online
classes
 is much better than offline study sessions as the requirement of these
classes
 and online coaching platforms' popularity have increased widely
according to
 several people. I completely agree with
this
 statement because of the significant benefits of
classes
 on the Internet to
teachers
 which are discussed ahead. Primarily, the biggest merit to
teachers
 is cutting down the costs. To justify,
while
 teaching online on digital applications, mentors do not need to build a large infrastructure, or they can take
classes
 just in small offices. Not only will it save the expenses of making a huge building but
also
 reduce the electricity bills.
For example
, the annual expense of BYJUS, an online coaching centre, is only 10000 INR because
this
 centre has a single office with small cabinets.
However
, in the case of offline
classes
, the owner has to build a large building to accommodate a large number of students and to pay more money for the electricity bills.
In addition
 to
this
, it is more convenient for tutors.
This
 is because the tutor can teach to a large group at a single time and can record lectures to send to their tutees,
this
 eliminates the need to repeat the course material.
Whereas
,
while
 delivering in-person coaching, tutors have to repeat the subject matter to every batch which leads to boredom.
For instance
, had the online education system not been adopted by many
teachers
, teaching would not have become more convenient for them these days. In conclusion, online coaching reduces the expenses for
teachers
as well as
 becomes more convenient for them, thereby I am convinced that online coaching is a superior option to in-person coaching.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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introduction
The introduction could be more clearly articulated. Including a brief background or context before stating your agreement/disagreement would add clarity to your stance.
supported main points
Expand on your main points with more diverse examples and evidence. This would make your arguments more persuasive and robust.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on varying sentence structure and vocabulary to make the essay more engaging. It tends to be repetitive at times.
logical structure
The essay displays a clear stance and logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph contributes well to supporting the main argument.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made, especially the reference to BYJUS.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author’s opinion, providing a clear closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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