There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year.While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, ,many believe that other meausres will be needed. Discuss both sides.

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The number of
crimes
Use synonyms
is increasing in many parts of the world annually. So, there is a strong debate in many societies whether
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
death penalty is
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
to solve
this
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issue or other actions are needed to deal with
this
Linking Words
serious issue.
This
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essay will discuss both points of view.
People
Use synonyms
who support the death punishment belive that it is the ideal
way
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to stop the high number of
crimes
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committed in any society. They would argue that it is the
most strict
Replace the word
strictest
way
Use synonyms
to avoid
such
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an issue.
People
Use synonyms
who want to commit any
crime
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
will think twice before committing that action,as they gonna lose their lives
which,
Correct word order
, which
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is probably the most
valubale
Correct your spelling
valuable
thing they have.
In addition
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, they support their point of view by mentioning how effective it was in the past to reduce the
crime
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rate, when it was strictly and widely used , especially during
war time
Correct your spelling
wartime
. When
people
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retrait their country and deal with enamy.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who believe in other methods to deal with
crime
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issues
,
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apply
show examples
would think taking
others
Check wording
others'
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lives might not be the best punishment. They may consider
the
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apply
show examples
jail
is
Wrong verb form
to be
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the best
way
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to reduce
crime
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rates.During the jail years, criminals can be brainwashed to stop them from committing
crimes
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.
Also
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, they believe in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
psychological treatment for those dangerous
people
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. Most
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
not all
of
Punctuation problem
, of
show examples
them are suffering from mental issues, so they
shold
Correct your spelling
should
be treated professionally by specialists in
this
Linking Words
field
insted
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instead
of taking
thir
Correct your spelling
their
lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, a reasonable number of them were successfully treated in many counties
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
they are effective individuals now in their communities. In conclusion, both opinions should be considered since there is no allways a one
way
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to deal with
crimes
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. It varies and depends on each culture and community.
Death
Correct article usage
The death
show examples
penalty can work for one nation, but it may not be suitable for other societies.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully and add your own clear view in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
task response
Add more support for each main idea with one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like however, also, for example, and therefore.
task response
Avoid ideas that are too general. Explain how and why each method works.
task response
You discussed both views, so you answered the main task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words such as however, also, and for instance.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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