IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the plan below show the site of a farm in 1950 and the same site today

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The diagram portrays the state of Beechwood
Farm
Use synonyms
 from
1950s
Correct article usage
the 1950s
show examples
 to the current day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
farm
Use synonyms
 has transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a more modern than suburban state in the past
,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
however
Linking Words
;
few
Correct word choice
however, few
show examples
 features have remained stagnant. In the mid 1900s, there was a track that commenced from the side of the road and provided
accesss
Check wording
access
show examples
 to all aspects of the
farm
Use synonyms
. To the right of the
farm
Use synonyms
was off
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the
sheeps
Check wording
sheep
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the left was where the green farms were located
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 fruits and vegetables ,which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 between the river and the tracks. Across the
round
Punctuation problem
round,
show examples
 avoid was the barn and farmhouse ,including the chickens. As of today, the track is now a road that
coontinues
Correct your spelling
continues
 the access to other parts of the
farm
Use synonyms
. The
sheeps
Check wording
sheep
show examples
 area has been divided into two. One is the
soloar
Correct your spelling
solar
 panels spot
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the other is a camping field ,both
if
Use the right word
of
show examples
 which consist of a parking lot. There has been an addition of a barn near the chickens and the farmhouse ,at one corner of the roundabout. The previous barn has been upgraded to holiday cottages to accommodate people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a portion of the fruit
trees
Check wording
trees'
show examples
 boundary has been set for the
farm
Use synonyms
 shop. The fruit trees, soft fruits and
vegetables
Check wording
vegetable
show examples
 area have
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same over the years ,
as well as
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
farm house
Correct your spelling
farmhouse
 and the chickens.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 the river path has maintained its direction.

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task response
Write a clearer overview. Say the main changes in one simple sentence.
task response
Use the right words for places on the map. Some words are hard to understand, like 'green farms' and 'round avoid'.
task response
Cover all key changes and group them well, for example left side, right side, and center.
task response
Check facts and names carefully. Wrong words can change the meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a better order. Move from one area to another in a clear path.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like 'on the left', 'on the right', 'in the center', 'now', and 'while'.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use too many commas and semicolons. This makes some lines hard to read.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence is complete. One sentence stops in the middle.
task response
You gave an overview at the start, which is good for Task 1.
task response
You mentioned many important parts of the farm, like the road, barn, shop, camping field, and solar panels.
task response
You compared the past and the present, not only one time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraph breaks for past, present, and what stayed the same.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like 'whereas', 'furthermore', and 'moreover'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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