IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The popularity of fast food continues to grow. Why do people eat fast food regularly? What can be done to encourage healthier eating?

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A consumption and an
Overall
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 trend of fast
food
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 is getting more popular as
time
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 passes.There might be several reasons for
such
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phenomenon
Correct article usage
a phenomenon
show examples
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as that fast
food
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 is less
finance
Replace the word
financially
 intensive and shortens consuming
time
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,
while
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 one of the best ways to encourage eating healthier
food
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 could be creating
alternatives
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 from healthy
products
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 by
simalteneously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
 increasing public awareness. It has become common for publicity to consume unhealthy
food
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such
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 as burgers, hot-dogs,
pizza
Correct word choice
and pizza
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 because of its
cheap
Correct word choice
low
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 price. To cook healthy
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
food
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people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 have to buy several
products
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 most cases
are
Verb problem
,
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 expensive if bought at one
time
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.
However
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,
while
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 what is not true for
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fast-
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fast food
food
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, which only needs to be purchased
for
Change preposition
at
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 a regulated constant price. Indeed,
this
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 situation has
enermous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 influence on students,who are worried about their
expences
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expenses
, because they should not only think about their
food
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 and
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, but
also
Linking Words
 about their college tuition fee. Another major factor of consumption of harmful
food
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 is its
time
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.
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Fast-
Correct your spelling
Fast food
food
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 is everywhere and economises
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time
Correct article usage
the time
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 of tens
millions
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of millions
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 of individuals
everyday
Replace the word
every day
, as its preparation takes from 5 to
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
number
Check wording
apply
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of 15 minutes for a single burger.
This
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 occurrence is mostly useful
while
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 workers have a short break in the
midle
Correct your spelling
middle
 of the day because they go out and
simple
Replace the word
simply
 order easy-made
food
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.
Acoording
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According
 to statistics held in
Correct article usage
the UK
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UK
Punctuation problem
UK,
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 more than 35
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of workers prefer consuming
fast-
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food
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 in their
short-breaks
Correct your spelling
short breaks
, which makes them addicted. One of the main methods to overcome
this
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 situation may be creating
alternatives
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 for easy, but
harmfull
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harmful
food
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.
Involvment
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Involvement
 of
more
Correct determiner usage
apply
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healthier
products
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 will be the main case of
this
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 method, as
while
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 cooking burgers or other harmful
products
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a
Punctuation problem
, a
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lot of oil is added
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has
negative
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a negative
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 impact on
overall
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 well-being, and
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moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 it makes us lazier. For people to be more encouraged to consume
such
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alternatives
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,
An
Fix capitalization
an
show examples
 increase
of
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in
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 public awareness will play
integral
Correct article usage
an integral
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 role. Publicity should be aware of the
products
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 they consume and about
potential
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the potential
show examples
 drawbacks it poses.
Furthermore
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, conducting
speechs
Correct your spelling
speeches
 and
trainigs
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training
 will show that
alternatives
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 are less
finance intensive
Correct your spelling
finance-intensive
 and much healthier for our organism. In conclusion,
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fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
food
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 has become an
unchangable
Correct word choice
unchangeable
show examples
 element of our life because of stated reasons, but
this
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 essay believes that individuals can lessen
influence
Correct determiner usage
its influence
show examples
it poses to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 by Forming a new
alternatives
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 for unhealthy meals and at the same
time
Use synonyms
 increasing public awareness.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more clear way. Say why people eat fast food, and then say what can be done, with equal focus.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow. Start each body paragraph with one clear point, then explain it.
task response
Use examples that are more specific and easy to trust. Some examples now sound too general.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, so, also, and however, but do not make sentences too long.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each paragraph stays on one topic. A few parts now are hard to follow because many ideas are mixed together.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You give reasons such as low cost and saving time, which are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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