IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The popularity of fast food continues to grow. Why do people eat fast food regularly? What can be done to encourage healthier eating?

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In recent years,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
food
Use synonyms
 consumption
increasing
Verb problem
has been increasing
show examples
 without
stop
Wrong verb form
stopping
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 production is having an upward trend because of its affordable cost and the speed of
preparation
Correct article usage
the preparation
show examples
 process. There are many possible ways to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the best method is
altering
Wrong verb form
to replace
show examples
 the unhealthy ingredients
into
Change preposition
with
show examples
 healthy ones. Turning into details, fast
food
Use synonyms
 production is continuing to grow
due to
Linking Words
 less
spending of
Check wording
apply
show examples
time and money
.
Verb problem
spent.
show examples
 The process of preparing
such
Linking Words
type
Correct article usage
a type
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 does not take too much time, because the majority of the ingredients will be prepared ahead,
also
Linking Words
 quick
food
Use synonyms
 is the best version for people who are not on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 budget,
due to
Linking Words
 its
not quality
Correct word choice
low-quality
show examples
 products. To protect the well-being of the individuals, the government should ban or fine the people who sell unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
, or city councils
encourage
Verb problem
should encourage
show examples
 the
cookers
Check wording
cooks
show examples
 to change the products which are dangerous to consume into acceptable ones.
For example
Linking Words
, additions,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 mayo or ketchup and
also
Linking Words
 white
bread
Punctuation problem
bread,
show examples
 lead
obesity
Change preposition
to obesity
show examples
 and cardiovascular problems. In conclusion, the popularity of junk
food
Use synonyms
 is continuing to increase,
due to
Linking Words
 its quick preparation
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
the alter
Wrong verb form
altering
show examples
 the unhealthy products of
this
Linking Words
 type of
food
Use synonyms
 can be the best solution. Hasanova Rukhshona

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more about why people eat fast food and what can be done.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph for reasons, one paragraph for solutions.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are too short or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, also, because, for example, in conclusion.
task response
Give a more specific example. Your example about mayo, ketchup, and white bread is not fully linked to the solution.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your meaning is easier to follow.
task response
You answered both questions, so your essay stays on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You give some reasons like low cost and fast preparation.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use example words like for example and however.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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