In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. What can be done about this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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One of the most crucial problems is that people don't care about others. Some millionaires
even
Rephrase
apply
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have never
donate
Wrong verb form
donated
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their wealth to charities. We have to spread the idea of helping others in many ways. You need to improve your awareness. The main reason is alcoholism.
Since
Correct word choice
Because
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of
this
Linking Words
nobody
Punctuation problem
, nobody
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wants to work hard for their life. And I believe that we should make more organisations, which could rescue them from
their homeless
Replace the word
homelessness
.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
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one is credits.
Although
Linking Words
everybody had them, nobody wants to explain how to deal with
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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. They are just looking for people to help. We should raise awareness about the issue. And find the solution for
this
Linking Words
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion, I reckon that you understood the point.

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task response
Answer the full question. Say more about why people still go hungry and what can be done.
task response
Give clear main ideas in each paragraph. Now some ideas are not fully explained.
task response
Use one or two real examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Write a clear introduction and a clear ending. Your ending is too short and not formal.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Use words like first, also, because, so, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main point and supporting detail.
task response
You give more than one reason for the problem.
task response
You try to offer solutions, not only talk about the problem.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraph breaks, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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