IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

he pie chart shows the percentage of people living in Australia who are from various countries, while the accompanying table shows where these people live: urban and rural areas

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The given pie chart provides information about
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in Australia and from other
different
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
countries,
while
Linking Words
 the table represents data about place where these
people
Use synonyms
 live.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Australians make up the largest proportion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the smallest figure is represented by
people
Use synonyms
 who are from
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
. Most citizens live in urban areas,
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 highest rate
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
recorded by Chinese
people
Use synonyms
. Observing in detail,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who are from Australia showed the largest share, accounting for 73%. There is a small difference between New Zealand, China, and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
, which are constituted 3%, 2%, and 1%, respectively. The
people
Use synonyms
 who are from the UK
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 twice as
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 as others, representing 7%. Turning to the living places, there is a similar percentage in the UK and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
, living in
cities
Use synonyms
 and rural areas, making up 89% and 11%, respectively. Australian
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
cities
Use synonyms
 represented 83%,
while
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 17% of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live in rural areas. Almost all Chinese
people
Use synonyms
 live in
cities
Use synonyms
, constituting 99%. There is a larger difference between
Australian
Check wording
the number of Australians living
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 live in
cities
Use synonyms
 and
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
, representing 80% and 20%, respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 65%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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