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Writing Samples
Band 5

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?

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These days,
children
Use synonyms
 grow in a
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
 environment where they should be better than other kids.
Although
Linking Words
tests
Use synonyms
 and
exams
Use synonyms
 improve their academic performance,
such
Linking Words
 methods might
exchaust
Correct your spelling
exhaust
 their brains from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
, making them,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, incapable to succeed. I'm convinced that
children
Use synonyms
 are disadvantaged more
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
tests
Use synonyms
 and
exams
Use synonyms
 than they benefit.
School
Use synonyms
tests
Use synonyms
 and
exams
Use synonyms
 may improve
stamina
Correct article usage
the stamina
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
. By taking
exams
Use synonyms
 from the
age
Use synonyms
 of five or six,
school
Use synonyms
students
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 perform better in universities because their brains
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 already experienced academic pressure at
school
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in China, there is a special
school
Use synonyms
 that prepares
students
Use synonyms
 from the
age
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 of
fixe
Correct your spelling
five
 or six
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their national exam, GaoKao, giving them similar
tests
Use synonyms
 every day. These
students
Use synonyms
 almost always get the highest scores across the nation, and get into the best universities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 China like TsingHua University.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 methods can help
students
Use synonyms
 to succeed in the future.
However
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 who take
tests
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
 are mentally tired and incapable
to pass
Change preposition
of passing
show examples
exams
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 because the pressure kids get is too much for their
age
Use synonyms
,
as a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 they become physically incapable because their bodies were not
thought
Verb problem
designed
show examples
 to experience it.
For example
Linking Words
, in Kyrgyzstan, 1st graders cannot take any
exams
Use synonyms
 because it negatively affects their mental health. Even after the 1st grade, there are limits for each grade regarding the total hours of studying and the number of
exams
Use synonyms
. The government implemented
this
Linking Words
 system because they
beforehand
Verb problem
had beforehand
show examples
 researched
children
Use synonyms
's
physicial
Correct your spelling
physical
 and mental possibilities to avoid any possible issues.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 evidence shows that kids are naturally limited, and increasing
tests
Use synonyms
 will not help
children
Use synonyms
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 unless they are physically capable
to pass
Change preposition
of passing
show examples
 those
exams
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 or
tests
Use synonyms
. Social expectations make
children
Use synonyms
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
work more than they can. Even though
tests
Use synonyms
 and
exams
Use synonyms
 give us a real experience of academic pressure that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 us in the future, increasing them can negatively affect
children
Use synonyms
's health
because
Punctuation problem
because,
show examples
naturally
Add a comma
naturally,
show examples
 they are limited to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
children
Use synonyms
 are more disadvantaged
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
such
Linking Words
 methods rather they benefit.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. You talk more about the bad side than the good side.
coherence cohesion
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each body paragraph.
task response
Explain your ideas a little more. Some points are good, but they need one more step of support.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with care. Sometimes your links are not smooth or natural.
coherence cohesion
Keep one clear topic in each paragraph. The last body paragraph repeats ideas from before.
task response
You answer the question and give both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use examples from China and Kyrgyzstan, which helps support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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