IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

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The number of countries
support
Correct pronoun usage
that support
show examples
 foreign
companies
Use synonyms
 in their
country
Use synonyms
. It is argued that local
businesses
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged by the
government
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essy
Correct your spelling
essay
 will explain why I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. On the one hand,
openning
Correct your spelling
opening
 more developed
companies
Use synonyms
 will positively affect
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
. After introducing
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 into the
country
Use synonyms
, the
government
Use synonyms
 will get a part of the income
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 of course,
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 will pay
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 amount of taxes. All earned money will be in the
country
Use synonyms
's account.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 will improve the quality of life of the residents.
For example
Linking Words
, recently KFC was introduced to Kyrgyzstan
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it was greatly
encourged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
 by
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 mayor. Later, the
company
Use synonyms
 strongly influenced
to
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 community of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
. The main street near the
reconstructed
Replace the word
reconstruction
 was
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
and the level of traffic improved.
This
Linking Words
 case
demonstarted
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 that conditions of the
country
Use synonyms
 will become better
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
,
appearing
Replace the word
the appearance
 of
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 giant
company
Use synonyms
 will strongly influence
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other small local
businesses
Use synonyms
. The majority of residents will become interested and start purchasing everything in
recently
Correct article usage
the recently
show examples
 opened place. Indeed, the level of competition among
businesses
Use synonyms
 will grow.
For instance
Linking Words
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 a large number of shops in Osh city. All of them were equal and had approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 number of customers;
however
Linking Words
,
foreign
Correct article usage
the foreign
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 Spar opened
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 branches across the city
last
Linking Words
 summer.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it sharply reduced
interest
Correct article usage
the interest
show examples
 of customers in our native shops
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 even nowadays
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Spar is the most popular shop.
Such
Linking Words
phenomenon
Correct article usage
a phenomenon
show examples
 proves that local
businesses
Use synonyms
 should be developed by the
government
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of helping giant
companies
Use synonyms
. '
This
Linking Words
 essay demonstrates cases
such
Linking Words
 as opening foreign
companies
Use synonyms
 in the new
country
Use synonyms
 and its influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
 of residents.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I partly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that native
businesses
Use synonyms
 at the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of their future career should be encouraged by the
government
Use synonyms
 more than the foreign, already successful
companies
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer the question more directly from the start. Say clearly how much you agree, and keep this same idea all through the essay.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear. Some parts are hard to understand because of wrong word choice and grammar.
task response
Explain your examples more. Show exactly how each example supports your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences do not connect well to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. This will help the essay flow better.
task response
You answered both sides of the topic and gave your opinion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • foreign companies
  • local business
  • government policies
  • investment
  • job opportunities
  • economic growth
  • sustainability
  • balance
  • attract
  • challenge
  • compete
  • large corporations
  • national identity
  • cultural heritage
  • technology
  • expertise
  • incentives
  • support
  • community
  • social cohesion
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