Many students finish high school and want to leave their country to study overseas. Give the advantages of studying abroad and the advantages of staying home.

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The
education
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system has changed the world .The
advantages
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of studying abroad are different from staying
home
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.
This
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essay will examine the
advantages
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of studying abroad and the
advantages
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of staying
home
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. On the one hand, there are amazing
advantages
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of studying abroad.
First,
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with better
education
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students
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can learn at excellent universities .
This
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can help them develop important skills that will be useful in their future. They study with world famous Professors.
Second,
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they will learn about new cultures. They will meet people from different countries and nationalities.
Additionally
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, they will understand and appreciate new cultures and languages.
Finally
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,
students
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can improve their language skills. Living in another country helps a student become fluent in the language. Knowing more languages can be important in their future when looking at career.
On the other hand
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, there are numerous
advantages
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of staying
home
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. First , student can get support from their family . Being close to family can make a student happier and less stressed. Their family can help them when they face a problem.
Second,
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being at
home
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saves a large amount of money. Studying at
home
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is usually cheaper than abroad .
Students
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do not have to pay for expenses,
such
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as apartment , flights , and transportation.
Finally
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,
students
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feel more comfortable in their
home
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.
Students
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already know the language, culture , and
education
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systems. They can easily communicate with the teacher and classmates. They do not need to adapt to a new environment. In conclusion, it is clear to see that both studying abroad and staying
home
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have many
advantages
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.
However
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, in my opinion, I think that studying abroad is better because it creates new experiences and improved
education
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.

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task response
For task response, answer both parts in a more equal way and add one more clear reason or small example for each side.
task response
For task response, explain your ideas a little more deeply. Some points are clear, but they stay general.
task response
For task response, use specific examples such as one real study cost, one job benefit, or one family support case.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear paragraph plan. To improve more, make some links smoother between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check small word form and grammar mistakes because they can make the flow less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, avoid repeating the same words too much, such as 'advantages' and 'students'. Use simple other words sometimes.
task response
For task response, you answered both parts of the question and gave advantages for studying abroad and staying home.
task response
For task response, your opinion in the conclusion is clear.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay is easy to follow with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you used simple linking words well, such as 'First', 'Second', 'Additionally', and 'Finally'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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