IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

İn some countries ,a few people eran extremely high salaries.Some people think that this is good for a country,while others believe that the goverment should control and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both two views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
money
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 is the source of power
to
Change preposition
for
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 countries.
However
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, some people think that giving high
salaries
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 is good
to
Change preposition
for
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 society, there is
also
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 an argument
indicates
Correct word choice
that indicates
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 that countries should decrease
salaries
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.
This
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 essay will analyse both views and express my own opinion. On one hand, giving high
salaries
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 might increase the
economy
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, because of
velocity
Correct article usage
the velocity
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 of
money
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, high
salaries
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 will make people buy all
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
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 of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 which would increase supply and demand. High
salaries
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 will make society happier, and would be able to start investing
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 businesses. For
instants
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instance
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, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 there is alot of investors because of their high GDP.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
Linking Words
possiple
Correct your spelling
possible
 that high
salaries
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 might hurt
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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. Giving
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
money
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 to individuals is a big risk to
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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.
For
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 in Kuwait, they give high
salaries
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, and from when
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 was a kid in 2010 until now in
2026
Punctuation problem
2026,
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 they
still
Verb problem
are still
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 the same
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they
did
Wrong verb form
have
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 not improve, their
economy
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became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 weak
, all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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 because of high
salaries
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, the
Punctuation problem
. The
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 government does not have the
money
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 to invest in the country. In conclusion, giving high
salaries
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 is a
double edged
Correct your spelling
double-edged
 sword. My opinion is that
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 should balance in the
salaries
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, and not giving high
salaries
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 that could destroy the country.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about high pay being good and bad, but the idea of the government setting a limit is not clear enough.
task response
Give your opinion more clearly and earlier. Write it in the intro and support it in one body paragraph.
task response
Use more clear examples. Your USA and Kuwait examples are real, but they need a clearer link to your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas jump too fast. Add one more sentence to explain why high pay helps or hurts a country.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • economic disparity
  • government intervention
  • progressive tax system
  • societal divide
  • income caps
  • economic growth
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • public services
  • cohesive society
  • talent attraction
  • lucrative sectors
  • wealth accumulation
  • tax contributions
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