There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year.While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, ,many believe that other meausres will be needed. Discuss both sides.

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In some countries around the world , offences have been increasing yearly. There are some
people
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who believe that deterrents like the death penalty reduce the number of serious
crimes
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.
However
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, many
people
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think broad types of measures will be needed. In
this
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article, I will discuss both views. In the case of using the death penalty as a deterrent to reduce the offences.
This
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strategy is excellent for violent
crimes
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, breaking traffic rules, and the use of drugs or preventing
substanceabuse
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substance abuse
, and fighting with police members. Many courts and governments agree with hard deterrence because they are responsible for saving the security in countery.
On the other hand
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, increasing the number of measures that are put
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in place
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by ministries will reduce the less dangerous
crimes
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because
this
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type of solution suits the small
crimes
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that are caused by terrorists.
In addition
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, raising the rules and deterrents will help
people
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to protect themselves. Some
people
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make small mistakes throughout their live
such
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as bullying, hating, and stonewalling small things. So that they did not need a hard deterrent, they needed a guide and a protector
instead
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of a soft deterrent. In conclusion, offences have been increasing because the security and rules are weak. The death penalty is essential for serious and hard
crimes
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, which are selected by governments and courts.
In contrast
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, small
crimes
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which are non-dangerous will be reduced by other measures.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Write one clear main idea for each side and explain it more.
task response
Add your own view clearly in the end or in a full body part.
task response
Use more clear and real examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'for example'.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas do not fit well, so check if each sentence matches the topic of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You answered both views, so your essay follows the question in a basic way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph shape.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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