Some people believe that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses and the government should not be expected to fund higher education. To what extent do you agree?

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Nowadays, many
people
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argue about university education. Some individuals think that only students who can pay should study there, and the authorities should not allocate money for
this
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. In my opinion, I do not agree with
this
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statement because everyone should have a chance to study. First of all, if the educational institution is only for the rich, it is not correct. Many young
people
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are very smart and want to become good doctors or teachers, but their parents do not have enough money. If the authority does not help them, these smart humans cannot study.
For example
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, I know some clever students who cannot go to university because it is too expensive.
This
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is a big problem for their future and their life.
Secondly
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, educated
people
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are very important for the country. When the government pays for higher education, more
people
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can get a good job. When individuals work, they pay taxes, and
this
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makes the country better.
On the other hand
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, if the university is very expensive, lots of citizens will not be able to obtain a degree.
As a result
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, the country will not have enough specialists like engineers or doctors. In conclusion, I believe that an academic degree should not be only for those who have a lot of money. The government must help universities and provide free education for good students. If the state helps, it will be better for the whole world.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to how much you agree. Say why the other side is weak too.
task response
Add one more strong and real example to support your ideas.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain how and why in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully so each idea flows in a smooth way.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph stay on one main idea and extend it fully.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are short and simple. Join some ideas to show better flow.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are easy to follow.
task response
You use an example to support your point.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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