IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, parents are deciding to have children later in their lives. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
It is observed that
parents
Use synonyms
 in many nations are choosing to have
kids
Use synonyms
 later in
life
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that
this
Linking Words
 development is highly beneficial, as the
career
Use synonyms
growth
Use synonyms
, economic
stability
Use synonyms
, and parenting maturity older
parents
Use synonyms
 possess significantly overshadow any associated
health
Use synonyms
 risks and generation gaps. One primary benefit is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
career
Use synonyms
growth
Use synonyms
 for the
parents
Use synonyms
. At
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age
Use synonyms
, individuals have
sufficiant
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 time to progress in their
career
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it secures financial
stability
Use synonyms
 among them. People can save money in their early stage of
life
Use synonyms
 as they do not need to spend additional expenses for childrens
such
Linking Words
 as
diaper
Check wording
diapers
show examples
 and food expenses.
For instance
Linking Words
, adults from European countries have decided to have
kids
Use synonyms
 in their later
life
Use synonyms
 so that they can manage their finances and focus on
Use synonyms
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 helping them to grow.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another significant merit is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
parenting maturity. If
parents
Use synonyms
 have their children
in later
Correct word order
later in life
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Punctuation problem
age,
show examples
 they can manage them properly. With their
real
Correct your spelling
real-life
life
Use synonyms
 experience, they can educate their
kids
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they can mitigate
their
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 stress of rising child.
Thus
Linking Words
, having childern in later
age
Use synonyms
 not only gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
stability
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 ensures
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
show examples
 upbringing. Despite these clear advantages, it is important to acknowledge that having
kids
Use synonyms
 at
later
Correct article usage
a later
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 can cause significant
health
Use synonyms
 risks and
generational
Correct article usage
a generational
show examples
 gap between
parents
Use synonyms
 and
childrens
Replace the word
children
. Women in older
age
Use synonyms
 experience various
health
Use synonyms
 complications when they
birth
Verb problem
give birth
show examples
 child inculding diabetes
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and weight imbalance.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of the gynecologist
Fix the agreement mistake
gynaecologists
show examples
 advise
parents
Use synonyms
 to give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
birth before
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of thirty
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can mitigate
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
health
Use synonyms
 problems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
 gap is another
drawbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
show examples
. Older
parents
Use synonyms
 do not have knowledge about recent techonology and they struggle to play with their
kids
Use synonyms
 as they do not
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
 enough energy.
However
Linking Words
,
health
Use synonyms
 risks can often
mitigate
Wrong verb form
be mitigated
show examples
 with modern medical technology, making them less critical than financial
stability
Use synonyms
 and
career
Use synonyms
growth
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 complications and generation gap are notable downsides of
this
Linking Words
 trend, the advantages of financial
statibilty
Correct your spelling
stability
,
career
Use synonyms
growth
Use synonyms
 and parenting maturity exceed the demerits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Start each part with one clear point.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are good, but a few ideas feel repeated.
task achievement
Add one more clear and real example to support your ideas better.
task achievement
Explain the bad side a little more before you say why the good side is stronger.
task achievement
Check if every sentence directly answers the question about advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion from the start to the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body parts, and conclusion.
task achievement
You discuss both good and bad sides of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Most ideas follow a logical order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • late
  • older
  • age
  • parent
  • mother
  • father
  • child
  • baby
  • birth
  • family
  • home
  • work
  • job
  • money
  • time
  • plan
  • care
  • help
  • support
  • health
  • risk
  • problem
  • benefit
  • good
  • bad
  • balance
  • life
  • plan ahead
  • policy
  • leave
  • child care
  • society
  • family life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: