IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is common for people to travel long distances for work and study. Some argue that longer commute times affect people in a negative way while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Today
going
Punctuation problem
, going
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 can take a
Use synonyms
lot's
Check wording
lot
show examples
 of time in commuting. For some people,
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 commute can have bad effects to individual and to
others
Punctuation problem
others,
show examples
 they can see advantages. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my views
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, all of the opportunities for
work
Use synonyms
 are all in the capital city.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of employees are
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 longer hours
going
Wrong verb form
to go
show examples
 to the office. Because
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 houses are not located in the city area. For some reason
of
Change preposition
,
show examples
 living in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 can
cause
Verb problem
cost
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money and it's expensive.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 being out of the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 can be cheaper and can be surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 nature.
For instance
Linking Words
, you can have your own house in
this
Linking Words
suburbs
Fix the agreement mistake
suburban
show examples
 area and live comfortably without stress.
Also
Linking Words
, anxiety will reduce because of healthy living you can have there, having fresh vegetables,
surrounded
Verb problem
being surrounded
show examples
 by trees, and
get
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 the soft life that you want.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if your home is too far away from
Use synonyms
work
Punctuation problem
work,
show examples
 it can be exhausting
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your health. For other
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 it's a waste of time. But it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 advantages, if
your
Use the right word
you're
show examples
nearby
Punctuation problem
nearby,
show examples
 you can easily go to
work
Use synonyms
 early and finish a
lot
Use synonyms
 of tasks
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 go back home early. You will have a
Use synonyms
lot's
Check wording
lot
show examples
 of time in the afternoon and evening for yourself and can do hobbies that you want.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 commute can have negative effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mental and physical health. Seeing a
lot
Use synonyms
 of people every day, especially at rush
hour
Punctuation problem
hour,
show examples
 can make your mood low and
drain
Wrong verb form
drained
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it's better to rent or buy a home
nearby to
Change preposition
near
show examples
 your
work
Use synonyms
, where everything is convenient for you.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more evenly. You talk more about one side than the other side.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way in the middle and at the end.
task response
Use one clear main idea for each body part, then explain it with a simple example.
task response
Some ideas are not fully clear, so make each point easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a better order. A few parts jump from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Make your example fit the point more directly.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing.
task response
You use some examples about home, cost, and daily life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: