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Writing Samples
Band 6

Pie charts shows the electricity production in France and Australia in 1980 and 2000.

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The four pie charts compare the amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced from five different fuel sources in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Australia
Use synonyms
 relied mainly on coal in both years,
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 became much more dependent on nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 by 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, the total
electricity
Use synonyms
 production increased in both countries over the period. In
Australia
Use synonyms
, total
electricity
Use synonyms
 production rose from 100
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980 to 170
units
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Coal was the main source of
electricity
Use synonyms
, increasing significantly from 50 to 130
units
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, oil production fell sharply from 20
units
Use synonyms
 to only 2
units
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 natural gas dropped from 20 to 2
units
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, hydro
power
Use synonyms
 increased considerably from 10 to 36
units
Use synonyms
.
Australia
Use synonyms
 did not produce any
electricity
Use synonyms
 from nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 in either year. In
France
Use synonyms
, the total output doubled from 90
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980 to 180
units
Use synonyms
 in 2000. The most noticeable change was in nuclear
power
Use synonyms
, which increased dramatically from 25
units
Use synonyms
 to 126
units
Use synonyms
, becoming the largest source of
electricity
Use synonyms
. Coal remained unchanged at 25
units
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 oil rose slightly from 20 to 25
units
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, natural gas decreased from 5 to 2
units
Use synonyms
, and hydro
power
Use synonyms
 declined from 15 to 2
units
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, coal continued to dominate
electricity
Use synonyms
 generation in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 became the primary energy source in
France
Use synonyms
 by 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, france, power, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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