Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspapers and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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It is commonly believed that reading the
news
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in
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newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
or watching
TV
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programs for some
news
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is
act
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an act
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of wasting
time
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, since
news
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has
not any
Rephrase
no
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impact on individuals’ lives. I somewhat disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion, as any new change in society will have some influence on
people
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;
however
Linking Words
, watching
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tv
Capitalize the proper name
TV
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and reading
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newspaper
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newspapers
show examples
is
irrational
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an irrational
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time
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expenditure. I believe that
news
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indirectly impacts
on
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apply
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individuals’ everyday
life
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lives
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. When
person
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a person
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gets something new his habits will
also
Linking Words
change
according to
Linking Words
that
news
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. As
news
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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full of negative
examples
Punctuation problem
examples,
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what actions bring what results. If
news
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about
death
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the death
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of
drunk
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a drunk
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person,
number
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the number
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of
people
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who are drinking will reduce
or
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, and
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the same applies to
people
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who smoke.
Moreover
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, in some extreme conditions
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news
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, news
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help community to prevent
huge
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a huge
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disaster.
For instance
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,
when
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apply
show examples
in 2011
Japan
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, when Japan
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faced
tsunami
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a tsunami
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, citizens of some regions could prepare for
catastrophe
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the catastrophe
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
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of lives were saved.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, regarding
TV
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programs and traditional
newspapers
Add a comma
newspapers,
show examples
it is too
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time consuming
Correct your spelling
time-consuming
.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
humanity is living in the era of digital technologies, where information moves very fast. In
this
Linking Words
condition
Add a comma
condition,
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traditional sources of
news
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are becoming less popular, as person has to spend
much
Correct determiner usage
more
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time
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
news
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.
People
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today prefer to read
news
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from the internet, it saves
time
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and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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only
needed
Correct article usage
the needed
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information.
For example
Linking Words
, today it is hard to observe how
people
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seat
Verb problem
sit
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and watch
news
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programs or buy
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newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
and read it.
Instead
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, they read it
while
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travelling to work or returning home after work. In conclusion, society
argue
Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
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that
news
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is not connected with their life, I think
news
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has
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
on
people
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’s habits and plans.
However
Linking Words
, watching
TV
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and reading
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newspaper
Check wording
newspapers
show examples
for some
news
Use synonyms
is in the past
Linking Words
due to
Correct word choice
because
show examples
they
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
replaced by mobile gadgets.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. Say exactly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this the same all through the essay.
task response
Answer all parts of the question in a more direct way. You talk about news and also about TV and newspapers being old, but link this more clearly to the question about waste of time.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Some points are short or not fully explained, so add one more sentence to show how and why your idea is true.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence cohesion
Connect ideas with simple linking words in a careful way. Words like 'however', 'for example', and 'moreover' should match the meaning exactly.
coherence cohesion
Keep one clear focus in each paragraph. The second body paragraph moves from newspapers and TV to internet news, so make the link smoother.
coherence cohesion
You give a clear introduction and a short conclusion, so the essay has a complete shape.
coherence cohesion
You use paragraphs to separate main ideas, which helps the reader follow your writing.
task response
You give examples, such as the Japan tsunami, to support your ideas.
task response
Your main position is mostly clear: you think news matters, but old ways of getting news can waste time.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Informed
  • Current events
  • Public awareness
  • Local news
  • Global issues
  • Sensationalism
  • Misinformation
  • Bias
  • Community
  • Public safety
  • Health advisories
  • Market trends
  • Traffic updates
  • Weather forecasts
  • Educate
  • Raise awareness
  • Opinion formation
  • Decision making
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