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Writing Samples
Band 6

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

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Recreational activities play an important role in helping
people
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 relieve stress and improve their quality of life.
However
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, some forms of recreation can be harmful to physical or mental health.
This
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 is largely because
people
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prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 immediate enjoyment over long-term consequences. In my opinion, promoting healthier alternatives is the most effective way to address
this
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 issue. One reason why
people
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 engage in unhealthy recreational activities is the instant satisfaction they provide.
Although
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 many individuals are aware of the negative effects, the enjoyment they experience often outweighs concerns about their long-term well-being. Video games are a good example. Many players spend hours in front of a screen because they enjoy the sense of achievement and rewarding gameplay, despite knowing that excessive gaming can reduce physical activity and affect their health over time. A practical solution is to make healthier recreational options more appealing and accessible.
For example
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, governments and businesses could invest in parks, sports facilities, or fitness programmes that encourage
people
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 to stay active.
Likewise
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, healthier food and drink options could be made more affordable and widely available. If
people
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 can enjoy themselves
while
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also
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 improving their health, they are more likely to choose these alternatives over harmful habits. In conclusion, unhealthy recreational activities remain popular because
people
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 often focus on immediate pleasure rather than future consequences.
Nevertheless
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, by encouraging and promoting healthier alternatives, society can help
people
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 enjoy their leisure time without sacrificing their well-being.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You say the cause is quick fun, but you can add one more cause, like stress or habit.
task response
Give a more clear action for the solution. You talk about parks and sport, but you can also say who should do this and how.
task response
Use one more real example to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but you can link the second body part more clearly to the question about what can be done.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are a bit short. Add one more line of support after each main point.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each part stays on the main topic.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your video game example fits the point well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • awareness
  • social pressure
  • cultural norms
  • addiction
  • dependency
  • coping mechanism
  • stress
  • mental health
  • healthier alternatives
  • marketing
  • advertising
  • consequences
  • habit
  • affordable
  • readily available
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