IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The accelerated pace of change in working standards is exerting a higher pressure on employees to change their profession often,
while
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 they continue to fail in sustaining a stable life. There are multiple factors responsible for
this
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 outcome and in
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reasons that are significantly affecting the outcomes with specific examples,
while
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 providing suggestions to improve effort and financial efficiency to overcome
this
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 dystopia. On one hand, technological advancement is happening at an unprecedented rate which is starting to replace repetitive tasks.
For instance
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, automotive assembly needed many workers in the past with critical
skills
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such
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 as assembling parts, sealing spaces and painting to manufacture products.
However
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, these procedures are slowly being replaced by robots which are not only fast but
also
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 accurately work continuously at an unprecedented pace that humans cannot match.
In addition
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, the jobs that are in demand require a higher level of education with a specific set of
skills
Use synonyms
 that not everyone
cannot
Rephrase
can
show examples
 acquire as expected. The sudden changes in career, lack of critical
skills
Use synonyms
 and slow-paced hiring have caused an uncertainty that needs to be resolved.
On the other hand
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, possible solutions should be developed in both the education and employment sectors to improve
skills
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 that are in demand.
For example
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, the schooling sector should focus on multiple human critical
skills
Use synonyms
such
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 as designing, communication and problem-solving which could cohesively work to minimize the elimination of humans from the workforce which cannot be performed by machines.
Nevertheless
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, governments should interfere with the rising rate of unemployment and should bring legal standards to ensure employment for everyone. In conclusion, the disadvantages caused by rapid pace changes should be negated by strict standards, education and ethical concerns which will improve the
overall
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 economy with long-term stability to ensure a sustainable industrial environment everyone can favour and adapt.

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task achievement
The introduction effectively states the topic and outlines the issues to be discussed, but it could be more engaging. Consider starting with a broader statement about the changing nature of work to capture the reader's interest more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay generally flows well, though some sentences could be restructured for clarity. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain logical cohesion.
task achievement
More specific examples would strengthen your arguments significantly. Try to provide more detailed illustrations or data to support your points about unemployment and educational reform.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, reiterate your key points briefly for better emphasis and consider including a call to action or a final thought to leave a lasting impression.
content
You present relevant arguments and structure your essay in a well-defined manner, with clear main points in each paragraph.
language
The language used is generally appropriate for the topic, with some varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures which contribute to the overall quality.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Globalization
  • Outsourcing
  • Freelance work
  • Flexibility
  • Job Security
  • Education reform
  • Critical thinking
  • Adaptability
  • Continuous education
  • Retraining programs
  • Legislation
  • Corporate responsibility
  • Competitive edge
  • Work-life balance
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