Some people think that sports is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some
people
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believe that
sport
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plays a crucial role in
society
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,
while
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others argue that it is merely a form of entertainment.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On the one hand,
sport
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is often considered essential for
society
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due to
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its wide-ranging benefits.
Firstly
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, it promotes physical health and helps to reduce the risk of serious illnesses
such
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as heart disease and obesity. In a time when many
people
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lead sedentary lifestyles,
sport
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encourages individuals to stay active and maintain a healthy routine.
Secondly
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,
sport
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fosters social cohesion. Major sporting events,
such
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as the Olympic Games or the FIFA World Cup, bring
people
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together regardless of their cultural or national backgrounds.
This
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sense of unity can strengthen relationships within communities and even between countries.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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claim that
sport
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is simply a leisure activity with little real importance. They argue that watching or playing sports is mainly a way to relax and escape from daily stress. From
this
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perspective,
sport
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does not directly contribute to solving serious societal issues
such
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as poverty, education, or economic development.
Furthermore
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, professional
sport
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is often associated with
commercialization
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commercialisation
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, where financial interests outweigh its original purpose, turning it into pure entertainment rather than something meaningful. In my opinion,
although
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sport
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can be seen as a form of leisure, its
overall
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impact on
society
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is far more significant. It not only improves public health but
also
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plays an important role in uniting
people
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and promoting positive values
such
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as teamwork, discipline, and perseverance. In conclusion,
while
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some individuals view
sport
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as just a pastime, I believe it is an important element of
society
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due to
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its physical, social, and cultural benefits.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your own view. To get a higher score, add one more clear and real example for each side.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear, but you can explain them a little more deeply. Show more about how sport helps daily life or society in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has a clear job. To improve more, use a few linking words inside paragraphs to connect ideas in a smoother way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your main points are good, but some points could be developed more with one extra sentence of support.
task response
For task response, you answered all parts of the question and gave a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a strong introduction, clear body paragraphs, and a good conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the order of ideas is logical and easy to understand.
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