An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause and what are the solutions?
Nowadays, individuals are searching for high wages, better facilities and higher education. They believe that these are simple rights for them. As observed, a diverse range of employees
likewise
doctors and teachers are travelling overseas for a better life. In this
essay, I will elaborate on the causes and find the possible solutions.
First and foremost, less developed countries have poor infrastructure. The syllabus is fragile. In other words
, the teacher will be unable to teach students and foster them. Moreover
, doctors will escape as a result
of bad hospitals and weak health systems. They believe that other countries will boost them. They are also
aware of the low payments. They know that they studied hard to earn a good income when they graduate. However
, they are shocked by the reality and want to escape. For instance
, doctors in regions like Egypt, India and Pakistan are migrating to European states to obtain better wages and better work fields.
A possible solution would be raising the salaries. This
will make both physicians and teachers love to stay. Furthermore
, enhance the facilities by building more modern schools and hospitals. Infrastructure should be improved by repairing roads and sanitation. One of the sparked examples is Egypt. The government implemented a new city with contemporary hospitals and schools. It also
doubled the salaries of all Egyptian employees. This
rekindles the citizens and gives them hope that the country will be better.
In conclusion, the government should play a crucial role in this
issue. Otherwise
, the immigration ratio will surpass these countries. They will not have physicians to cure or teachers to teach. This
can ruin the economy of the countrySubmitted by mohannadsme on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses all parts of the task and provides potential solutions. However, you could strengthen the argument by discussing additional reasons why professionals leave their home countries.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed. For instance, elaborating on how poor facilities directly affect professional efficiency can make your point stronger.
coherence cohesion
There are occasional language inaccuracies that may confuse the reader. Try to proofread more thoroughly or use simpler sentence structures for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use linking words like 'however,' 'therefore,' and 'in addition' to make your points flow better.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the context of the essay and outlines what will be discussed.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example of Egypt, which helps to illustrate your points more concretely.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to summarizing the overall argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay overall has a logical structure where the issues and solutions are clearly separated into distinct paragraphs.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...