IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spentstudying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages ofthis would outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays,colleges set courses including study abroad or practical training
has became
Correct subject-verb agreement
have become
show examples
 a growing trend.
While
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 some people argue it is unnecessary,I believe it is significantly benefit the
students
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' career developments and
companies
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.
Firstly
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,studying abroad or doing an internship would have a profound impact on undergraduates.When they study abroad or intern at a company ,they can broaden their horizons,which significantly
accelerate
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accelerates
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 their self-development,thereby largely contributing to their
capacility
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capacity
 and confidence,which
help
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helps
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 them prepare well for adult life.
For instance
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,
students
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 who take internships in
companies
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 could get access to the real working
enviroments
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environments
,they would put their
acdemic
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academic
 knowledge into practice.
Consequently
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,they could accumulate
experience
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, which benefits their future career development largely.
Moreover
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,
companies
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 would
also
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 get benefits if undergraduates
are
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were
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 studying abroad or taking practical training courses.
While
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students
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having
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have
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 more practical
experience
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,it can help
companies
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 reduce training costs and get more productive
emplyees
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employees
.
In contrast
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,
students
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 without practical
experience
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 need to be trained before they step into real work, which leads to
an
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apply
show examples
extra costs.
Howere
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However
,some drawbacks
cannnot
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cannot
 be ignored.
learning
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Learning
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 outside university may lead to some security problems,as undrgraduates are lack
of
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apply
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social
experience
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.
In addition
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,some
students
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 without enough theoretical knowledge may struggle to adapt to
study
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studying
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 outside
university
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the university
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.Despite these disadvantages,
students
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 having more
pracitcal
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practical
 and work-related skills contributes their
competity
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competitiveness
 in the job market,thereby they can get
higher
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a higher
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 salary
ang
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and
 have a better life.
To conclude
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,
while
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 studying or interning
out
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at
show examples
 universities does have some drawbacks,its positive effect on
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students
Check wording
students'
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 future career developments and
companies
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'
costs
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cost
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 reduction clearly
outweight
Verb problem
outweigh
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 these concerns,which has
long term
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long-term
 benefits for both
studens
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students
 and
companies
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.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in the first part. Say clearly that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one more clear bad point and explain it more. Now the bad side is short, so the essay feels a little one-sided.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your example about internships is good, but it needs one more step of explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each sentence more clearly. Some sentences have too many ideas, so they are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like firstly, moreover, however, and to conclude are good, but some sentences still need better flow.
coherence and cohesion
Break very long sentences into two shorter ones. This will make your meaning much clearer.
task response
You answer both sides and give your opinion.
task response
Your position is clear in the end: the good points outweigh the bad points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic paragraphing well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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